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| - No. NO. Run, don't walk, AWAY FROM THIS PLACE.
I went there on a random weekday night for a birthday dinner (not mine, thank God). First off just getting into the place was a trial. The "front" entrance shares property with a high-rise condominium building, so if you can find your way in, all of the parking at the front is permit-only, and the "back" entrance is a super-steep road that leaves you thinking, "Oh shit, am I going to get trapped in some random dead-end" right until you hit the crest of an ugly parking lot with broke-down asphalt. Also, the front doors face the back, so it shares a wall with its dumpsters, which is just weird and not appetizing.
When I got there I had to fight my way through a group of people at the front doors smoking (seriously, in 2017). Stepping into the restaurant, the first thing I was hit with was a thick, greasy haze in the air. It was smokier inside than out, and for a moment I had a flashback to the '80s, when smoking was still allowed inside the restaurant. Clearly they just have really crappy fryer vents that probably haven't been updated since the '80s. I started looking around for windows, desperate to crack one. I would have left if I hadn't been there with other people.
I LEGITIMATELY HAD TO GO HOME AND TAKE A SHOWER AFTERWARDS. That's how gross it was.
So we're sitting there, bathing in the greasy air, sharing a table with a bunch of other random people, like you usually do at hibachi places. The people that work at this run-down Benihana were an interesting mix. Our waitress had a deadpan nasal tone and while she was perfectly nice, I half-expected her to snap her gum in my face and ask if "that was all I needed, sugar." Honestly, I would have appreciated her more at a diner where I was only paying $10 for a milkshake and a burger. Ditto for the "hibachi chef" who did an acceptable, perfunctory job of cooking everything up. He looked and acted like a short-order cook they'd pulled out of the back in a pinch.
The whole menu is essentially a rip-off. There are 20 or 30 different menu items, and they have exotic names like "Treasure of the Ocean" or "Benihana Special Delight" but it's ridiculous because they are all the SAME. EXACT. THING. It's just different meats mixed together in random combinations and then seared in front of you to eventually make what looks like a stirfry on your plate. Yes, that's right, ONE BASIC STIRFRY is just about the whole menu. They have two different "dipping sauces" - one mayo-based for poultry and beef and one ginger-based for seafood - and that's it. For the price I was paying, I might as well have gone to a local Chinese restaurant, where they actually have a slew of 5 or 6 basic sauces in the back and can make a real stirfry.
Oh, and the menu makes a big deal about the "5-course" or "6-course" meals. The "courses" start with a tiny bowl of light broth and a tiny bowl of shredded iceberg salad, which is pretty standard when you go out to eat at a sushi place. Then the other "courses "are a random bit of shrimp that they fry up for you at the beginning of the hibachi grilling session (seriously, how is this a whole appetizer?) and then "mushrooms." Literally just "mushrooms" is what the menu says. We eventually figured out that means they add mushrooms to your hibachi meal. Annoyingly, the waitress and cook kept asking if we wanted these "courses" added to our plates, like it was optional instead of standard. They also upcharge $3.40 for fried rice, and $3.80 for noodles. Only white rice is included.
Oh, and then the "courses" are capped off by a terrible dessert dish of something frozen they called ice cream. I could buy better ice cream from Breyer's at the grocery store. I honestly only ate the ice cream because I was so pissed at that point that I wanted to get my money's worth. The whole menu was literally like 1987 with 2017 pricing - and I want my $35 back.
The only reason there is more than one star is because the meats and veggies they served were of a good quality. When they are cooking everything right in front of you its easy to tell if beef or shrimp is low-quality, and that wasn't the case here.
Oh, and let me just say that when I left the restaurant, thankful to be gone, I took a wrong turn and found their additional lower parking lot. Turns out the whole restaurant's foundation, because it's on a hillside, doesn't actually rest on the ground. Nope, the whole place is propped up on cement posts with parking underneath the place. I had to back my car up to get out from under there, and when I looked up I saw that the "roof" of the lot was an indoor dropped ceiling (office-style), with the rectangular plastic tiles peeling and dangling. I could not leave fast enough.
Honestly, they should just raze this place, sell it to the condominiums and turn it into additional parking for the residents. And that's the nicest thing I can think of to say about my experience at Benihana. Never again.
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