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| - This is one of those rare places that does not feel real. I'm not saying you'll sit down and all of a sudden you will think we're all in "The Matrix," or you'll walk to your table and a camera crew will ambush you because they are in the middle of filming "Cafe Monarch: Electric Boogaloo." It's kind of a hard feeling to explain, really. Suffice it to say, when you're at Cafe Monarch, you almost feel like you're somewhere completely removed from the rest of the world. Yeah, it's an upscale restaurant surrounded by a neighborhood, and they are packed every night, but there is something one-of-a-kind about this place that makes each and every visit one to treasure.
My folks actually ended up here a year ago and placed it in their list of favorite dining experiences ever. So when they returned to Arizona again this year, I made sure to invite myself and see what all the fuss was about.
The most important thing I can suggest is come prepared with a reservation, preferably for the patio grotto. The second most important thing I can suggest is come hungry, because this is a multi-course meal where you basically sit back and let the chef dazzle your tastebuds. You may think something on the menu sounds odd or unfamiliar, but trust me: as soon as you shove it in your mouth, you'll be flabbergasted with flavor.
So the three of us arrive, and the valet comes over and ferries the car away. The outdoor hostess stand was cool, and the team working the desk was made up of very welcoming and friendly hostesses. In fact, my first impression was that this place has so much charm, it may even make me look like a functioning member of society. When we were guided to our seat outside, we passed through a few dining rooms and got to see all kinds of homely touches that let you know this place has never met a stranger.
Outside was just as impressive as my folks made it out to be. Tables and chairs expand in every direction under lights, enclosed by foliage and enough atmosphere to make you question if you are still in Arizona. On appearances alone, Monarch impresses.
But on quality of food and service? Monarch exceeds any and all expectations, doing its own thing and doing it phenomenally. Absolutely every person who came to our table was professional, cordial and quick with the refills. And on that note, I would like to give a sincere round of applause to the bartenders here - the cocktails here are practically works of art, capable of leaving you emotionally stimulated and inspired for any number of activities, whether that's ordering a third round or singing along with the jazzy soundtrack they have piped in throughout the place.
Food is on a whole other level. It was last Friday we were here and I've forgotten practically everything I ate; however, even in the absence of culinary memories, I can safely say everything here is going to knock your socks off. The crab cakes were delicious, the pork belly and salad both raced into my mouth as quickly as I could move my fork, the pork chop was (no joke) the best I have ever had, and I seem to recall the dessert was good, even though at that point I was in a food coma, having an out of body experience and trying to photobomb the table next to us.
If there is one nitpick to have with Cafe Monarch, it's the bathroom. The bathroom itself is gorgeous, probably the nicest one I have ever been in. Plus, there's a random chair in there for... I'm not sure what. But the problem is there's only one bathroom. Unless there is another one somewhere that no one told the six-deep line of us about. It's a very, very minor thing to make note of, but if you are sitting there at your table between courses four and five and you know you're going to need to excuse yourself, you may want to give yourself more time than you think.
But again, that's a minor observation that comes with the territory of an old family home, and certainly nothing to get worked up about. The fact of the matter is Cafe Monarch is definitely in the top 10 dining experiences I have had. The staff is outstanding, the food is impossibly delicious and the entire visit was one that you could not get anywhere else. Don't take my review for it, though: hop on OpenTable and book your table, and then eat a light lunch that day. You'll thank me later.
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