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  • Yeah, I'll admit it. I drink Starbucks. I even enjoy it. There goes my indie cred. Whatevs. It's coffee, and with their new not-burned-to-oblivion roast, it's better than it used to be. It's also on the way to work and a lot faster than stopping by Cartel. Plus, I can stop in when I take the bus to work, which I can't do with Cartel. That's where the comparison ends, though. No matter how you slice it, Starbucks' coffee is nothing to write home about - it's bland. It's boring. It's...well...Starbucksy. But the baristas are perky, welcoming and efficient. They even make a point to ask about my morning. Why they insist on asking how I spell my name, however, I will never, ever know. With an h, without an h, who gives a good goddamn? Will it make the lattes taste like they were made by a person and not a robot? Otherwise, I really don't give a shit what you write on my paper cup. You can call me Ted Kaczynski for all I care. Let me just put up the hood on this sweatshirt and grab my drink and I will be on my way back to my cabin in Montana. I've also been tempted to tell them my name is something ridiculous. Like, "It's Melanie, but with two ee's at the end and a circumflex on the a." Just to see if they'd do it. Or ask what a circumflex is. But you know what, I'm tired of hating on Starbucks. Sure, it's an easy target: too big, too corporate, too friendly. Sure, there's a lot of crappola for sale along with my coffee. And yeah, the pre-packaged food is overpriced. But in the world of corporate behemoths, I could be dealing with a lot worse - in terms of employment practices, environmental practices, trade practices, you name it. Plus, they compliment my outfit and tell me I look pretty. And at 7:30 a.m., I'm a fucking sucker.
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