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| - Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me!
As Seen On TV. Have you ever been f***ed over by an informal that turned out to be a scam? Not me. Have you ever religiously vowed to try out Man Vs Food locations with out yelping them first? I have.. :(. Seriously!?! WTF was I thinking!!!! As a Yelp a Elite, I was questioning my status. I thought I should simply resign from Elite for what I did. Had I read one or two reviews. I could have save myself heartache and pain. **WARNING RANDOM RANT AHEAD!! Viewers discretion is advised.**
STUPID TV! There's a reason I Netflix, so I don't get sucked in to stupid shows and stupid commercials. I wanted to punch someone so bad more than I hate the Verizon "Can you hear me now guy" and the Stupid retarded I'm a Mac commercials with equally as stupid Apple consumers that religious follow the Steve Jobs cult. Adam Richman, men across the nation look at you for inspiration. You are not an Guy Fieri, Andrew Zimmerman, or Anthony Bourndain, but we trust that you are one of us and not caught up in mainstream BS! I have watched your show seeing all these wonderful places on the East Coast and in Texas. My quest for Man Vs Food starts on the West Coast. Los Angeles was a disappointment nothing spectacular like LA traffic, smog, and the Lakers going to lose this year's Finals (or not make it) =). Las Vegas my second home... How could you pick this place?
**Back to the Review**
When you first walk in to Nascar Cafe you will see a line. You will hear little murmurs like "Wow, I can't believe I'm here..... MvF" "blah blah B3 or Big Ass Burrito". Two things come to mind when you see this place... Is Nascar really a sport? King of the Hill just came to life! I was waiting for some to say Propane and Propane accessories, but someone did say my favorite Hank Hill line... "I tell you WHat". I felt very very very out of place. Arlington, Texas is alive! I'm surprised I was not mistake for Kan. Okay Okay. I'm being harsh in a joking way of course. I did not drink too much Hater-aid and no one was raciest towards me. I apologize for being a little bitter... but please read on.
After a 45 minute waiting with very very impatient people behind me, I was finally seated. Yeah! This is a long time to wait with only maybe 3 small parties in front of me. I did not see any burritos on the menu. What the deuce? I wanted a 1 lb size of the B3. (I found out later you can ask for it, thank you yelp) Instead I ordered a guacamole bacon burger. A Carl's Jr commercial was never more dead on! While eating a "fancy" 13 dollar burger I was wondering why I wasn't eating a 4 or 5 dollar Carl's Jr burger instead. Portions are big but even if I was drunk, I'd much rather hit up the cheaper local Denny's. The curl fries were slightly better than the burger. My friend ordered frozen buffalo wings. Okay, she didn't mean to get them frozen, but they came out almost that way. The chef did replace her half pound order of wings with a fresh HOT plate of 1 lb of wings. Nice up grade for an honest mistake. I tried the wings... Too bad I'm a wing specialist. The wings were hot on the outside, but still slightly under cooked on the inside. I didn't notice this until the wings became cold over time. Come on how hard are wings to make? 10-12 minutes in a fryer and add maybe 5 minutes more if frozen. My burger fell apart while I was eating it. Not in a good mouth watering way, but in a nasty way. If this ever happens to you, that means that the bread is older and the meat was not cooked correctly. I'm not sure how it was cooked... Maybe grilled, baked and boiled?....
The PROS... There's always a bright side. Despite the slow slow service. My server was actually nice and in a good mood :). I appreciate that. The employee was dragging his or her feet and clearing dishes like they were the bomb squad. I heard a customer say, "They should fire everyone and hire new people." Thank you to my server. I applaud you :). This place is seriously Nascar Heaven with millions of TV playing only Nascar (and one soccer game). Or the opposite of heaven if you aren't in to Nascar. I could only image what Top Gear has to say about Nascar and driving in circles.
I wish I never set foot inside of Sahara or Nascar Cafe again. If you are a guest of Sahara, I do think you should give this place try. Call me crazy, but the quality is kind of like cafeteria food. Its not great, but its decent enough that you could eat there. I think my review is a tad bias and if your food is cooked by a different chef than today I'm sure you will be fine. Thank goodness I didn't get sick. I'm writing this from my Wynn Suite and I know tomorrow is another day. Hot N Juicy and Hash House A Go Go are next. I think I saved the best for last.
*I accepted any hate mail this uncensored review might have caused. Just know.. please read this review with a light heart and know I was pissed and don't take me too seriously.*
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