| rev:text
| - The girls and I decided to stop by and give this BBQ a try. We walked in and looked at the food, and I turned to them and said, "I think we should turn around, walk out, and go to another restaurant." Being the nice, thoughtful women they are, they decided that we should at least give Can't Stop Smokin' one try. So, we did.
I want my lunch hour, money, and palate back, please.
1. The turkey was very dry, and there was no flavor of smoke or of the dry rub. Nor was there any hint of a smoke ring. It shattered when touched with a fork. When I smelled it, it smelled like a combination of the hot, cheap plastic wrap it had been wrapped in combined with some sort of slightly off pork product.
1a. The turkey was STICKY when chewed. It stuck to my teeth, then turned into some sort of gummy paste with a grainy texture. I ate less than a third of my portion before throwing my hands up in defeat. And it was a struggle to get that far; my friends kept laughing at my facial expressions while I was trying to choke it down.
2. Instant potatoes. Instant. Really? Boil up some suckers and take a masher to them, people! And the gravy from a packet wasn't that great either. Salty, salty, salty. I can feel my cells shriveling up as I type.
3. The sweet tea tasted like the container had not been properly cleaned or sanitized. A slightly musty, moldy taste lingered.
4. The hostess was EATING at the entrance and ignoring customers. We did not receive a greeting or farewell.
5. The layout is somewhat awkward, but had the food been good, I would have navigated a complex maze.
5. No condiments on the tables...until we left, and the hostess brought them out...and hour after the restaurant opened.
6. The checkout attendee was not quite on the ball, causing some confusion with our payment; we requested that two meals be paid for together, and they were rung up as just one meal, causing the her to chase us down for the remainder of the bill.
Were there any positives?
1. The lemons for the tea were huge, juicy and fresh.
2. The barbecue sauces tasted no worse than any generic one out of a bottle...but no better, either.
3. The green beans were edible.
4. I have a doggy bag full of food for my pup that the humans couldn't manage to choke down.
How would I sum up my experience? I'll let my friend's statement do that for me:
Her: I have barbecue sauce on my finger.
Me: Lick it off.
Her: I don't want to put that stuff back in my mouth, once was bad enough.
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