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  • Wow. Didn't vote for this thing. And had I known that the primary users of the infamous "folly trolley" would be the same snotty, elitist Scottsdale pricks who - fresh off the plane from Los Angeles - regularly clutter up our freeways with all manner of comically inconsiderate driving-related antics, I would have commited voter fraud simply to prevent this ridiculous waste of state money's passage. But I digress. The thought process of the think-tank that concocted this monument to instant obsolescence must have been as follows: Stuffy Snobsdale Suit # 1: Alright, folks. Phoenix has a public transportation problem. But rather than address it by building something that goes faster and further than anyone could hope to go on Phoenix's impossibly congested freeways and streets, let's grandstand about greenhouse gas emissions and build a glorified trolley that - at maximum speed - goes the bloody SPEED LIMIT. Stuffy Snobsdale Suit # 2: I'm prepared to agree, provided that it stops at stop-lights and precludes the adjacent lanes of traffic from going forward, thus creating more problems than it ultimately fixes. Stuffy Snobsdale Suit #1: DEAL! Now, on to pointless smoking ordinances... *Ahem* Oh, yeah, I rode the thing. Alot of people have been talking about the cleanliness of the cars... I would have to disagree on that one. Sure, the cabin doesn't reek of urine or anything, but some of the surfaces do have that dull, darkish dirtiness to them (think, the ball-pits at McDonald's). The colors of the car's innards remind you of maybe the New York subway system, but with less fecal matter (give it time)... and of course, with 99% less speed or usefulness. Honestly, the Universal Studios tour bus moves faster than this nearly-inert silvery heap. And while we're on the subject of its shiny exterior, who painted this pokey, pastel metal tube? I haven't seen this much pastel green since Miami Vice. While I bemoan the primary passengers of the Metro Light Rail, I do have to laugh at their misfortune as a Tempe Soccer Mom finds herself sitting directly across from a smack-addicted hobo, even as I suddenly find myself humming the theme to 'The Odd Couple". The price I really can't complain about. Not too high, not too cheap. But more than once I felt like just getting out and walking.
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