| rev:text
| - OK,
So what do you do in Vegas with a bunch of co-workers after the trade show has just finished? Well one dumb ass in the group...who shall remain nameless...JOE!....Says, "Let's go to a tittie bar!". Oh shit, here we go again.
Every other Mofo in the group is a 40 something poge who looks like they haven't gotten poon-tang from their wives in years. They of course say, "HELL YES !"
So we get a cab and it drives the 4 of us to Deja Vu showgirls. JOE tries to pay and I intercept him....I say
"No dude, the club pays them, he'll get a 4 person kickback for dropping us off. Don't pay him"
I've never gotten such a look of hatred from a cab driver, but it's true.
Then we get to the door. Bouncer guy says "30 per" JOE starts to protest and I say, "No dude be nice, pay the $30" then I slip the bouncer a $50 and request a good table with a view.
Joe is lost, he asks me... "So you don't pay the cab driver, but you pay the door man?"
"Yup" is all I say.
We sit down and immediately get surrounded by girls and waitresses. They know a big tipper only gets the good table. I declare in a loud voice, "Ladies please, we just got here and we plan on staying for a number of hours, let us get some drinks and catch our breath."
The big bouncer guy comes over and apologizes for the the mad rush. He gives all the girls a stern look and they shrink away. Strippers are like naughty 8 year olds with a drug problem, they will try to get away with a bunch of shit unless you give them a firm hand. We watch a stage show and throw some $5 on the stage for a bunch of buxom blonds that pour Evian on their clam lips and flick it into Joe's face. I have never seen a happier man.
Some strippers come by...rather cautiously and ask if anybody would like a $30 a song lap dance? I clamp down on Joe's arm and say politely, "Sweetheart, why don't you come back in a few minutes, we're still talking business"...."Oh, Okay." she says." and slinks away all sexy like. The men at the table are now like WTF?!? I tell them..."Hey look around? How many lap dances do you see?" "None" they reply. "Exactly, the girls are going to get hungry soon." Not 10 mins later, the DJ comes on and say, "Gentleman it's your lucky day ! -
3 song lap dances are now $30!" They all turn to me and say, "Mark, how many strip clubs have you been to? "Only 2, I reply,...but I've had a stripper for a roommate." You should have seen their jaws drop. "Listen guys" I say, "most of these girls are on coke right now. In fact if you got some on you (ounce+), I can guarantee you can take one of these mis-aligned girls back to your suite tonight, otherwise it's purely a look and feel show on everywhere but the kitty."
Then I see her.... a 5'1" stacked, racked, firm ass attack, brunette with short spiky hair and a pissed off lovely face that I immediately want to taste, "Oh shit," I say to myself. She sees me and comes over with a wickedly evil smile. She doesn't say anything and spreads her legs and sits on my lap cowgirl style..... I stifle a yawn,...and look away and take a sip of ice tea. That got me a punch in the shoulder. I smile and hold her stare. After a minute she grabs my hand and leads me into the back, throws me down and proceeds to get naked and rub everything on me ....EVERYTHING!. Let's just say not a word was spoken from either of us, 30 mins later I come out with messy hair, a couple of ripped buttons, and a bunch of wet spots all over my body....Oh and short a $100...Hey the girl said she was going to college...........IN VEGAS ? Who am I to deny that kind of bold faced lie?
All my co-workers now think I'm god.
What happens in Vegas....Stays in Vegas.....and gets reviewed on YELP
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)