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  • Ok, I was here for work - how the F did I score this? My suite in THEhotel was bigger than my first apartment. (and this was the pedestrian suite, they only get better.) The main (!!) bathroom (there are two) was bigger than the bathroom in the house I now own. A bedroom, a sitting room, incredible views, huge closets. Two huge plasma TVs. Ceiling to floor windows, marble, wood... All the little hotel-size products were so amazing that me & Siouxsie found ourselves raiding the maid service carts and loading up. VIP Status at THEhotel makes your skin glow without uncomfortable exfoliation. Makes you forget all those dreary Smiths lyrics you can recite backwards, forwards, sideways. Makes you say, "Nah, I don't need another G&T b/c I'm so gosh-darn happy (but give me one anyway...)" Makes you feel like Tara Reid on a good day (or maybe a bad day, which is better???) Comped mini bar, comped room service, comped drinks at most any bar in Mandalay, comped meals most anywhere in Mandalay. I felt like a rock star (ok, maybe not quite a Rock Star, but surely a winner of So You Think You Can Dance.) The pool area was amazing, but crowded, of course... a real fake beach, young, pretty red-bikini-clad waitresses bringing you cocktails (but they stop serving super early so drink up!) The wave pool at Mandalay was fun, but I was more drawn to the River Float. There's an adult (i.e. bare-ass) pool area too... The only only only bad thing I can say is that my room service eggs benedict came without hollandaise sauce - and really, what's the point of that? Do yourself a favor and Stay Here.
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