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| - Come the fuck on.
After experiencing the trash heap of disappointment that was Taco Guild earlier in the day, my wife and I went and drank our sorrows away around town, depressed that we didn't get a decent taco in a city filled with amazing tacos. While drinking, we met a man who said he tended bar at Chico Malo, and told him about how shitty Taco Guild was. He agreed and told us to go to Chico Malo and try it, that we wouldn't be disappointed, that they make amazing tacos the right way, tacos that will blow your mind.
After a few hours we had worked up a hunger and said "Screw it. Let's go get some better tacos."
The space is nice and open, indoor/outdoor bar is long and accommodating, it just feels more accessible than when it was The Corner. We had some hopes because it was obvious the owners spent money on this joint.
We ordered 3 tacos, I think it was the chicken tinga, the chorizo y papas and the crispy avocado. They came out after a while on fresh made corn tortillas! Then I went to take a bite of the chicken tinga...but first I had to remove the dill fronds from the top. Seriously. They put dill fronds on a taco.
Then I was mad. It was sweet. SWEET. What the shit? Ok, I thought, at least I ordered chorizo and potatoes, there's no way to fuck that up with sweetness. I had had enough sweet bullshit tacos at Taco Guild, I needed something savory for once. I don't know what the hell it is with these pseudo-taco places obviously pandering to white people, but they seem to believe that white people want nothing but sweet food. White people, I don't know if that's true about you or not, but according to Taco Guild and Chico Malo, you're basically pure sugar.
Anyway, I bit into the chorizo y papa taco!
IT'S SWEET. Turns out they have a "jalapeno marmalade". Because yeah, that's exactly what the perfect combination of chorizo and potato was missing: marmalade. You motherfuckers.
The crispy avocado taco was probably the best one but even that was kind of overloaded with cucumber, maybe more of a personal preference, but even without that it would have been completely forgettable.
I left this place in a hurry, mad and upset that I broke the cardinal taco rule TWICE in one day: the nicer the place, the shittier the taco.
PS: These mofos have a carne asada taco with ENGLISH PEA GUACAMOLE. God damnit. Seriously, fuck you. Why not just go buttfuck my dead grandmother in the grave with more of your jalapeno marmalade while you're out desecrating hispanic things?
But I'm still nice and gave two stars because it's a nice place! But I still hate you and your tacos, Chico Malo.
PPS: The tacos are $5 a piece. I'm not cheap either, so I usually don't give a shit if something is higher priced than it should be so long as I'm getting something fantastic for that price. Instead I got trash heap fusion food from some dickbag conglomerate of corporate food-thinkers that probably cobbled this menu together from a list of foodie buzzwords and kitschy trend-aggregator instagram accounts or something.
Don't eat here.
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