About: http://data.yelp.com/Review/id/5u5FSi6DXeFYzEpdcfwXqg     Goto   Sponge   NotDistinct   Permalink

An Entity of Type : rev:Review, within Data Space : foodie-cloud.org, foodie-cloud.org associated with source document(s)

AttributesValues
type
dateCreated
itemReviewed
http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#funnyReviews
rev:rating
http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#usefulReviews
rev:text
  • So, I am a vampire and I have never been that comfortable with daylight of any form. Imagine my reaction when my friend - not a vampire - text me to tell me to meet him for a pool party. I was like, "Dude. Remember my no sunlight policy?" and he was like, "Yolo." He had a point so I just put on some SPF 150 and got in an Uber with my little flowery bathing suit and my American flag tank top. I know what you're thinking: are vampires even Americans? Well, let me tell you something. That's racist. Or speciesist. Of course vampires can be Americans. Just because some of us have lived longer than this country has existed doesn't mean we can't be citizens. Even Johnny 5 got to be a citizen. So my Uber pulls up and when I get in the Mandalay, I stop by the bathrooms to reapply my SPF 150. Then I walk past the regular people pool and to this little shindig. I had never been wanded with a metal detector while wearing a bathing suit but I am happy to say that there's a first time for everything. No beeps. So I went in. Here's what you need to know to enjoy yourself here. It's a little list I wrote. I suggest you print it out and put it in a little ziploc bag in your bathing suit pocket. 1. There are not many places where the staff wear less clothes than they do here. 2. SPF 150 has a way of creating an oil slick type sheen on the surface of the pool, so maybe stay out of the water. 3. Get bottle service. You're a baller, so just man up and do it. 4. Don't start making out with a girl and then accidentally bite her neck and turn her into a vampire. She will not be impressed and besides, you didn't bring enough SPF 150 to share so she might die right there. That's all I've got. Print this out and carry it with you. Or don't. I'm a vampire, not your mother.
http://www.openvoc.eu/poi#coolReviews
rev:reviewer
Faceted Search & Find service v1.16.115 as of Sep 26 2023


Alternative Linked Data Documents: ODE     Content Formats:   [cxml] [csv]     RDF   [text] [turtle] [ld+json] [rdf+json] [rdf+xml]     ODATA   [atom+xml] [odata+json]     Microdata   [microdata+json] [html]    About   
This material is Open Knowledge   W3C Semantic Web Technology [RDF Data] Valid XHTML + RDFa
OpenLink Virtuoso version 07.20.3238 as of Sep 26 2023, on Linux (x86_64-generic_glibc25-linux-gnu), Single-Server Edition (252 GB total memory, 112 GB memory in use)
Data on this page belongs to its respective rights holders.
Virtuoso Faceted Browser Copyright © 2009-2026 OpenLink Software