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  • You really have to take a stand when it comes to Rubber City Drive-In Dining. Do you worship at the fryer altar of Skyway, or do you spin on the malt machine of Swenson's? For nearly my entire life, from cradle to about two years ago, I only attended burger church services at Skyway. I had friends deliver greasy sacks of burgers by plane to California, where I deep-froze them, ready for a quick re-heated Sky-High fix whenever I couldn't hide from the urge for one more minute. Then, it happened. A friend from Columbus took me to Swenson's, and ordered me up a Galley Boy. Uh-oh. It was a conversion. The Swenson's was better, and not just a little bit better. It was about a third again as good as Skyway, and by that I mean: Fresher. Fuller flavor. Better bun. Better overall presentation. Come on, a pimento-stuffed olive, on a toothpick skewer, outside the foil wrapper? That's drive-in genius, right there. Now, for the onion rings, Skyway is still better, by a country mile. No comparison. I'm not that much of a french fry guy, or a milkshaking man, or a fish sammy guy, so I don't want to sully this review on that front, but my dream date would be to snag a Galley Boy from Swenson's, shag on down to Skyway for some o-rings, then waltz over to Barnhill's for a sundae. Oh, sorry. Barnhills's closed during the Nixon administration. Why? WHY? Service is WAY better at Swenson's. Cleanliness is better at Swenson's. If not for the O - O - O - rings, I may never return to Skyway. My two stars are not to convey that this is so awful a dining experience, but with a Swenson's so close, just a peel-out down the straza, why on earth even THINK about Skyway? So, Mr. Skyway? If you're listening, and you want to win me back? I'm afraid you're just mailing it in, riding on the dogged, unflinching faithfulness of the Ohio burger hound. Have your carhops smile. Scamper out to my truck, if you can't run, which the good folks at Swenson's do, approximately EVERY TIME. And keep that lot clean, will you? Sheesh. It isn't that tough. See you at Swenson's! Turn on your headlights for service!
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