. "7"^^ . "\"Just wanna change a lot\n\"And sign our name after the dot\"\n\n------------------------------------------\n\nIn A Sentence\u0099\nIt's not an actual town square and I hate misnomers. \n\nQuick Review\u0099\n+ N/A. Wait ... no. Parking is free*. (*As of the date of publishing.)\n\n- They will lie to your face. Don't gift me with a voucher to a closed show in exchange for purchasing gift cards. I am not a tourist and I will one-star yo' ass**. (**raises brow.)\n\n- They don't even possess the decency to permit indigent people to lay around as in real town squares. Is it a town square or not?\n\n- Yuppies. Too many yuppies. Yuppies will be offended when reading this***. (***Flag away.)\n\n------------------------------------------\n\nStorytime\u0099\nI don't forget Town Square Las Vegas. I don't forget. \n\nAnd I certainly don't forgive. I don't ever forgive. \n\nI distinctly recall purchasing two gift cards (that I still fucking have, goddammit!) with a value of 250$ or 350$, or some nonsense like that, for vouchers to tickets to shows. One of the vouchers was for a show that was closed. The goddamn show was closing within nights of my purchase, and actually within the window that you were running your fucking promotion/scam. I don't forget Town Square Las Vegas. I never forget. \n\nHere's your much deserved one-star after all this time. Moreover, Rock of Ages wasn't even that good anyway; especially when accounting for the fact that I purchased in excess of 500$ in useless gift cards for the privilege to attend that show alone 'free' of charge*. \n\n(*For that amount, Tom Cruise better be in the cast. And, he might have to give me an additional favour as well.)\n\nFirst hand customer experiences: \nCheck the check-ins. First of all, there is tons of parking (and it's free!) as well as a RTC stop right along LV Blvd. where the SDX stops. There are stores, bars, a movie and stageplay theatre, faux parks, et. cetera. I have been in several of them -- and even reviewed a couple (see below) -- and \"primarily relevant\" to a consumer experience is presumably engaging in that activity. I have watched shit, eaten shit, drank shit, bought shit, taken a shit ....\n\nThe above paragraph is included because Yelp HQ is figuratively braindead and cannot distinguish \"Real People, Real Reviews\u00AE\" contributions from whatever reviews they should actually be removing via moderation with their power. I have been to this fucking glorified strip mall and ...\n\nIndividual stores reviewed\nAMC Town Square 18 - Two-stars\nhttp://www.yelp.com/biz/amc-town-square-18-las-vegas-2?hrid=5TY65dA91ds3YhBrvj_S9g&utm_campaign=www_review_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)\nBy the way: they maintain prices as if they were a premium theatre. Tourist trap. \"I've experienced better.\"\n\nClaim Jumper - Two-stars\nhttp://www.yelp.com/biz/claim-jumper-las-vegas-2?hrid=u2Z3QjQEgQNBFI8UA6zUWA&utm_campaign=www_review_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)\nWorst service within a twenty kilometer radius. Quite possibly the worst service -- dollar for dollar -- in the whole fucking town! \n\nJohnny McGuire's Deli - Two-stars\nhttp://www.yelp.com/biz/johnny-mcguires-deli-las-vegas?hrid=Jb0jmdlv-crrjF4s0R8Zzw&utm_campaign=www_review_share_popup&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=(direct)\nFood is decent, not extraordinary (Veggie sub was godawful the one time I tried some from my girlfriend's), but certainly a bit over*priced.\n\nBottom Line\u0099\nYou deserve a one-star and a one-star you'll get! \n\n------------------------------------------\n\nTourists\nGood for tourists*. (*Tourists are all over it like cockroaches.)\n\nKids\nGood for kids*. (*Kids can be seen daily running all around the AstroTurf\u00AE as if they had never seen real grass in their brief lives.)\n\nDogs\nGood for dogs*. (*Dogs love eating AstroTurf.)\n\n------------------------------------------\n\nRating: One-star, \"Meh. I've experienced better.\"\n\nIn Memoriam\nDancing Queen\n2013 - 2013 C.E."^^ . "1"^^ . "5"^^ . "2016-02-14T00:00:00"^^ . "4"^^ . . .