"1"^^ . "2"^^ . . "I needed a legal document notarized, so I took it to my bank, Chase. Bad news, as of 1/1/17 they don't offer notary services at the Craig Road branch. OK, went to the UPS store:\n\nMe: I need this notarized.\nUPS: It says you need a witness.\nMe: Yes, I need you to notarize that you witnessed me sign this.\nUPS: Uuuuuh, we don't do anything like that.\n\nOK, went to POSTAL CONNECTIONS.\n\nMe: I need this notarized.\nPC: It says you need a witness. No problem, we can do that.\nMe: Awesome, thanks!\nPC: I see you have a FedEx shipping label. Do you need that shipped after we notarize it?\nMe: You can do that here?\nPC: Sure can. One stop shopping for you.\nMe: YAHTZEE!!\n\nOh, and Wrigley the Puppy played with me!!"^^ . "2017-01-22T00:00:00"^^ . . "0"^^ . . "5"^^ .