. . "1"^^ . "11"^^ . "4"^^ . "*** WARNING ***\n\nDo not read if you plan on eating. And if you do plan on eating, don't eat here.\n\n***\n\nI've been to Bottlescrew Bill's a few times over the years. I've never ordered food, since the menu isn't particularly veg-friendly. But, I've always been down to grab a pint or a hi-ball here at the beginning of an evening. I think at some point, I even got one of their passports for their \"Around The World in 80 Beers\" challenge. \n\n(I'm more vodkally-inclined, so I only got 4 stamps in my passport.)\n\nSo, for the reasons above, I continued to drop in at least once a year, and in my eyes; Bottlescrew Bill's was a solid three stars. And, it was why I had no problem accompanying a friend here last night for a couple of drinks, while we caught up and tried to decide what else to do that evening. \n\nAfter scanning the menu briefly, I opted for marshmallow sodas and an order of yam fries; asking for hot sauce and ketchup, rather than the chipotle mayo sauce as I usually do, since mayo isn't vegan. The waitress never bothered to mention to me that a serving of Frank's Red Hot (which is what the hot sauce tasted like) was going to cost extra, and I assumed that only shady restaurants that enjoy nickle-and-diming applied that sort of practice, so I never asked. \n\nWhen the fries arrived; I got no napkins, enough Frank's Red Hot to last me a week and no ketchup. She assured me it was coming. Ten minutes later, the ketchup bottle arrived, and attempts to actually extract any from the bottle without utensils or anywhere to actually dispense it in to were pretty thorny. \n\nAfter finally getting a microscopic amount out of the bottle and in to a small sea of Frank's, the fries were lukewarm. The fries also probably had enough grease to wring out in to the gas tank and make the twenty-minute drive home. This is probably due to the fact that rather than drain the fries prior to plating, the cook just dumped them straight in to the bowl. Still, I hate wasting food, so I managed to put a quarter of the bowl's contents away before that sick-feeling from too much oil started making me feel queasy. I excused myself to the bathroom, and patted my face down with an oil-blotting sheet so that I could stop feeling like I needed to scrub my face down with acne wash and a loofah.\n\nAfter I came back, and the waitress asked how we were doing, my friend mentioned to her that the fries were ridiculously greasy and would it be possible to get a fresh batch. I was already feeling pretty sick at that point, so I talked him out of it. The waitress offered some sort of discount on the fries as an apology, since even if we were to get a fresh batch of fries - apparently the cook was refusing to drain them and we would get the same thing anyway - so, we agreed just so we could get out of there. When she came back, the fries had indeed been discounted at 20% off, which saved us $1.60. But then there was a $1 surcharge on the hot sauce for the fries, which I thought to be absolutely ridiculous. \n\nMy friend didn't see what the problem was, because he thought that the waitress had been nice. And I agree, she was nice to talk to. But from a service point of view, she was pretty lack-luster. She was nowhere to be seen, when a drunk customer sitting at a nearby table fell out of her chair with her feet pointing toward the ceiling. She served us the Exxon Valdez of Fries and didn't bother to get us napkins, and then she tacked on a $1 surcharge for hot sauce. \n\nI'm sorry, is there an old Grandma in the back, lovingly stirring a vat full of an old family recipe handed down from generation to generation, after being carried here on the back of a donkey from the weeping hills of Sicily by a blind man? \n\nNo, you just dumped a week's worth of Frank's in a disposable dipping container. \n\nIf the surcharge had been the only issue of the evening, I would have probably maintained that this was still a three star establishment (since you can't rate someone 2.25 stars). \n\nBut then, later on that night, the fries started to make their second appearance. At a public bathroom. If I was a disgusting sort, I would have taken a picture of them in the toilet, because after puking up fries and bile; you know what was sitting on top of the vomit? \n\nA LAYER OF OIL.\n\nThose fries haunted me three more times that evening."^^ . "11"^^ . . "2013-01-21T00:00:00"^^ .