. "3"^^ . . "11"^^ . "2007-04-23T00:00:00"^^ . "Yelp confession. I have a criminal record. Disturbing the peace- noise (party with a live band at my house). I was fingerpainted and have a mugshot\n\nLawyer offered to get me off on a CLEAR technicality and expunge it from the public record. Thanks Tony Bustamante! But I owned up, didn't fight it and let it stay.\n\nDo not tell my parents, they'll \n- spank me (oh wait they stopped doing that in 1992)\n- ground me (oh wait they stopped doing that in 1995)\n- guilt trip me (oh wait they stopped doing that in 1999)\n- say my dog's dumb And not give my dog treats.\n\nI can give the play-by-play next time I see you...\n\nI have a $50 gift card to anyone who can email me a GIF of my mugshot."^^ . "5"^^ . "3"^^ . .