I met my cousin Tony downtown for some drinks and food after a hard day at work. We started at the Butcher and Brewer but after watching cooking shows on 3 of the 5 TVs we decided that we needed to see some sports because Tony had some action on a college game. Some goombats on the street said we could should check out the kilt because they have a bunch of TVs. I was worried at first because I thought he meant guys dressed up as chicks and he wasn't too far off.
The place did have TVs, but it smells like Old Municipal after the Tribe got swept by the Rangers back in '82 on a hot August night. The bathrooms look like a keg room from a college frat party, water all over the floor, but, at the same time someone may have gotten greasy there just four minutes before.
The bartender looked like she hated her life and realized she was working at a second rate Hooters in Cleveland on a shitty January night. She managed to charge me five dollars for a Budweiser bottle, or assumed I was tipping her like she was a strip club bartender.
The night did get brighter when I thought I caught a working girl across the bar, but 10 minutes later her girlfriend showed up and just my luck she turned out to be a lesbian.
Before leaving I asked the angry faced bartender about the place around the corner and she said it was too dark there for a guinea like me.
The next time I want to watch sports downtown I'm just gonna go to the casino and try not to get the measles from that dirty crowd but it would be cheaper, a lot cleaner, and maybe there I'd find a hooker.