Dear Diary,
It has been 379 days since my last slip. I tried so hard and it all seemed so innocent...
Oh, you are oh so convenient with your bright, inviting lights & 24 hour drive "thru" . Then that friendly voice welcomes me to Sonic & I request to wait, since I just pulled up. After a few moments of hesitation between a foot long chili cheese Coney & a breakfast burrito, I do what all addicts do: I order BOTH. Then, as I pull up, can't help but notice the condescending gaze of the attendant as she looks down into my little toy of a car, while being spotlighted in an even brighter, almost judging, light.
So, it all goes to plan, I have my stash of breakfast burrito and a tube steak in a boat of bread, meat gravy, & cheese whiz. All packed with care? I get home and spread it all out in front of the TV. Bathed in the otherworldly glow of some Amazon Prime original series, I attack my chili dog with the nearly useless plastic fork.
The traditional method for consuming this "Coney" starts with tearing the foil paper & breaking open the front of the paper trough so you can try to bite this cheesy, greasy, chili covered 12 incher. I use the fork to stab & break off a piece so big, I nearly gag. I think to myself, "Oh, the price I have to pay will be well worth my time." How could I be so wrong?
Since I am on a roll & feeling so good about myself, I tear into the steaming hot breakfast burrito. I swear the little plastic packets of mustard & salsa mock me from the bottom of the bag. Now, I finally realize, I have relapsed. There is no turning back. I will continue to eat & defile myself and probably wake up behind a Whole Foods wondering how my life came to this...
I wake up a few hours later.
I feel dirty.
As I belch, it feels like gasoline is issuing forth from my pores...
This morning, I start afresh.
I will try to pull my life together.
Again.
And this time,
maybe,
I will remember my hallowed mantra:
ONLY GO TO SONIC FOR DRINKS AT HAPPY HOUR