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2016-03-30T00:00:00
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n4:funnyReviews
10
rev:rating
5
n4:usefulReviews
5
rev:text
Don't let all these glowing five-star reviews (and the questionable subheading "Amusement Park") fool you into thinking this is an amazing experience and rushing the seven miles off the Strip to come see it. That said, I couldn't give them just four stars since it is unique, cool, and, best of all, free. I mean, there's no acrobatic fighting pirates or fire-spitting volcanoes. There ARE fountains, but only a fraction of the size of Bellagio. No white tigers, instead you get an animatronic wolf, eagle, and a beaver. At least they don't poop. Last time I saw the white tigers, they pooped into their tank, and it wasn't a mirage. Anyway, it's best just to come and experience it for yourself, but if you want to know what's up, read on. Smack in the middle of a old-school casino you will find an outdoor atrium about ten stories high. With the hotel rooms towering over the lushness, it reminds me of a tiny Central Park but without the crime (rather, it's the casino that robs you). Though it is small, it manages to be a cool little oasis, something you might expect in Disney's Adventureland, with narrow paths running along a river leading to a waterfall. There's benches, a table or two, and a friction' bar! Suddenly it's not so Disney. Unless you want to drink until you're Goofy. The highlight is the "show", running 2, 6, 8 and 10pm, in which the fountains of a pool shoot up, illuminated by different colored lights, with lasers projecting images on a huge rock, housing an eagle and red-eyed wolf. The beaver is down below. (Oh wait, that sounds wrong). Anyway, the show is primarily "Native American" in spirit. Then it changes (I assume it changes seasonally)... switching to that whole "You all ready for this?" g-rated 90s hip-hop kind of music you'd expect a basketball team to warm up to. I almost expected the animatronic wolf to do the Cabbage Patch and the eagle to screech "Whoomp, there it is!". Then the lasers did all sorts of frenetic patterns (diamonds and targets) to some classic swing music. The finale was that "I'm Proud to Be An American, God Bless the USA" song and they showed images of guns and fat people in Walmart. I recommend coming for 9pm bingo (which lets out at 9:50), going down to the park and ordering a drink at the bar, and then catching the 10pm show when it's dark and less crowded. Just remember to cover your drink if you're close the the spraying fountains, so you don't get weird microbes in there and end up on Monsters Inside Me on TLC.
n4:coolReviews
5
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