Late last year I had been experiencing a slight hearing loss in one ear. While the issue had neither worsened nor abated it had nevertheless been ongoing long enough to be of concern to me. Despite a lifelong fear of doctors (silly perhaps but nonetheless) I ultimately capitulated and made an appointment with Dr. Nalbone. When he and his assistant entered my room I alluded rather casually to that fear of doctors I have. Rather than saying something (ANYTHING) to perhaps mitigate my anxiety his response was "sorry about that". This didn't sit well with me as it seemed a fairly good barometer of the man's bedside manner. Choosing not to dwell on this I let it pass and the exam continued. After looking into both of my ears and remarking that they were clean he did what I expected an ENT would do which was to subject me to an audiometer test. It was administered by another of his staff and the results proved conclusively that I indeed had a slight hearing loss in the ear in question. I asked whether a hearing aid might have been an option. At this juncture he said that it would however he wanted me to have an MRI. I looked at him and in a mildly sarcastic albeit pleasant vein asked if he thought it might reveal a brain tumor (as a card carrying hypochondriac I can attest that brain tumors are very near the top of the list of things about which we worry but seldom if ever happen). Expecting him to pooh-pooh this notion and offer some less severe justification for the test he nevertheless looked at me and with a half smirk nodded his head in the affirmative. I thus concluded that this doctor not only couldn't care less about my long held fears but seemed to make little effort to contain his amusement at my worsening anxiety. Rather than having been sent home with some ear drops which is what I fully expected would happen we're now considering the possibility of a brain tumor or something else in a similar realm. I was about to ask whether he wanted to continue our conversation in his office or just go right to the cemetery when he said something that tipped his hand and put everything into perspective for me. He said that after the MRI I was to contact his office and discuss hearing aid prices with one of his office minions. Really?!?! Would a hearing aid help with a possible brain tumor I wondered?
A week later as my hearing had begun to improve as mysteriously as it had declined I receive a call from his office telling me that they wanted to schedule me for the MRI. I told the young woman on the phone that I did not choose to subject myself to the procedure. This was met with a rather incredulous "WHY?"..... I told her that my hearing had started to return in the ear in question (I doubt she believed that but it was nonetheless the case) and that frankly the doctor had scared the hell out of me. Like the doctor she made no attempt to veil her obvious delight at my fears and through her giggling told me that in the event of my reconsideration to call back so that they could schedule me for an appointment with an outside diagnostic center. I said I would if necessary and I thanked them.
Another week passes and my hearing is virtually restored to normal when I receive a call from Steinberg Diagnostic Clinic telling me the date and time of my appointment. WHAT APPOINTMENT??? I never made an appointment. In current parlance I believe the appropriate epithet is WTF? I was told by Steinberg that the appointment had been made for me by Nalbone's office. I told them that I never sanctioned or authorized this and that it just wasn't going to happen. Happily, that was the end of this nightmare.
The overall impression I was left with was extremely negative. It seems to me that this doctor is as much a hearing aid salesman as he is a doctor. Were I a betting man I'd run to the $2 window to wager that he receives a kickback from Steinberg and any other outside specialty practice to whom he might refer other unsuspecting patients. Never once during his encounter with me did he even SUGGEST the possibility that my hearing loss might have been the result of an infection or that it might only be temporary. Rhetorically speaking had there been even the faintest possibility of my having had a brain tumor why did his staff wait a full week to call me to arrange for the MRI after my initial visit? No, he's sending me out to be assessed for cancer and then selling me hearing aids. His staff completely disregarded my refusal to have the MRI and had me scheduled anyway. I'd like to believe that there's still an altruistic component remaining in medicine but the overt venality displayed by this doctor plus the absence of any attempt to at least make it appear like something else was to me very disconcerting. I don't expect Marcus Welby but I also don't expect a visit to a doctor's office to leave me with an impression similar to one I get at PEP Boys when they're trying to sell me a set of struts I don't need.