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2011-03-28T00:00:00
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n7:funnyReviews
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n7:usefulReviews
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I have to say that I was pretty intimidated to try Cartel about a year and a half ago - simply based on poor service reviews and threats of hipster judgment. When I want coffee, its because I'm beastly. I just woke up, I'm not looking like the hottest/hippest/nicest person in Tempe. I mean, I never look like that but when I NEED coffee, I need to dose myself in a safe and secure environment. So I went to Cartel expecting the worst, I ordered Iced Toddy. To keep my order neutral and cheap. It was okay. Pretty f-ing good in comparison to xtreme bean, my only other Toddy experience. I branched out into soy Lattes because I like to get some protein in the morning. I know....latte for breakfast - aren't I a pillar of health? NO ONE judged me when I would order my soy latte with sugar-free vanilla in it. NO ONE. I've gotten some jokes about it, but who gives a fuck? It's $4.50 - I'm being a yuppie suburban bore when I order it and I know it and I don't give a shit if they know it. I love them for keeping me in check anyways. How is a kid from Tempe supposed to know anything about coffee? That's not my business. As the customer, it's our business to try new things as suggested by the people who's life's work is coffee. So I tried an americano by suggestion. Its DELICIOUS. GET ONE. Iced/Hot, whatthefuckeverjustgetone. I go here for an americano EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE except when I am out of town and I bemoan the lack of Cartel even when I'm in Los Angeles (Mighty City of Intelligentsia). Which brings me to another point, the LINES. If you are looking for a McLatte, they exist. It's called McDonalds. They are everywhere. Cartel is not a run in/run out kind of place. They are offering a luxury item as well as an experience. You wouldn't go to a spa and bitch about your facial taking too long. If you want to see lines, go to Intelligentsia during the midday rush and you will immediately appreciate what Cartel is doing. For serving the entire ASU community with outstanding coffee, 20 minutes sounds about right. For a drink that is delicately crafted from bean to cup, $2.50-$4.50 is just right. For a locally owned company successfully competing with corporate giants, you might as well just go and give a deserving shop your money. And if you are nervous about being judged by the "hip" kids who look like they smelled a fart, recognize that they are only posing with their macbooks and modern literature and are too vain to break character. And if you are nervous about being judged by the baristas, try SMILING at the people who are SERVING you - because you remember how hard it was to deal with customers before you got your middle management salaried job, right? I love you, Cartel.
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