Must knows for this TRULY MAGICAL healthcare facility:
1) You GET TO CHECK YOURSELF in via computer. We checked in at 1 am on Saturday night, and there was no one there. So, make sure on you're able to stand/type, and that you don't lose consciousness before you swipe your ID, or else you might bleed to death on in the entry way! But who knows, the people waiting to be seen might be able to take better care of you!
2) Before we ever saw any type of healthcare professional, we got to see a person from billing! I mean, you come in for what is clearly an EMERGENCY, but don't worry, this hospital knows what the real emergency is, making sure they get paid before they do absolutely anything.
3) The doctors here are psychics! After you see the all important billing people, the psychic doctors might spend about 5 minutes not listening to you. (My boyfriend came in with an infection in one eye, exactly like the one I'd had a week before, only his was much worse and causing severe pain, we'd already been to our primary doc, but when the pain started came here) Even though we kept telling the doctor that this infection had been persisting despite antibiotics for 5 days, and only gotten worse, the doctor insisted it was allergies before even looking! Truly, a unique allergy is one that only happens in one eye after exposure to viral pinkeye! He doesn't have allergies, or any other allergic symptoms, but anything could happen in this magical place, science be damned!
4) After our psychic consultation, we were told "we'd just have to wait it out" until we could see an eye doctor on Monday, despite the pain! Since, yanno, it's not really a doctor's job to relieve it or anything! It seemed our psychic-- err-- doctor, didnt know much about eyes at all. Best of all! We got Lortabs! They aren't very effective for eye pain! But they will help somewhat for the next six hours.... until they wear off, I for one, can't wait!
I just wish to thank Mountain View hospital for what I'm sure will be an amazing Sunday sitting around with my boyfriend while he writhes in pain! You guys really are the absolute best in medicine! Remind me to drive right past this place if I'm ever dying!