Piranha Bar, Montreal
In retrospect, the name "Piranha" is very telling, but at the time we didn't know it was meant as a warning to unsuspecting tourists. Gentle reader, consider yourself forewarned: Do not set a foot in this place if you don't want to be separated from your money and left with nearly nothing, faster than a piranha separates the flesh from the bone.
This is what happened to us. My husband and I were visiting the lovely city of Montreal. It was our last night and we still had a lot of Canadian money to spend. We decided to pour it into the local economy in exchange for a few drinks poured to us. In short, we were looking for a bar.
We saw Piranha bar - it had a hockey game on TV and a Foosball table upfront. We thought, "This will do." We went in with the intent to park there until we spent our last dollar. The bartender looked a bit ditsy, and there were only 2 outer customers at the bar, but that didn't deter us, because we were on a mission to have a good time.
Wasting no time we asked for the menu and ordered drinks - my husband ordered a beer; I ordered Gray Goose vodka with cranberry juice. While ordering drinks we realized the bartender didn't speak English. That wouldn't have been strange, if we were let's say, in a little village in the French Alps, but we were in downtown Montreal, at the most touristy place one could imagine. Every single person we met in Montreal was fully bilingual - random people on the street, bus drivers, construction workers, street musicians, they all spoke English and French, and some people spoke a few other languages in addition. The bartender however, NOPE!, she didn't speak a word of English.
English is my second language too, and I speak a bit of French - the lack of language skills was not the problem. The problem was what the bartender did next. She took a glass, filled it with ice, grabbed a well gun and poured some water in the glass, then grabbed another well gun and topped it with red juice, then served it to me.
Are you paying attention? Nothing, nothing came out of a bottle. I am thinking, "OK, she watered down my cranberry juice, but I'll let it slide, as long as she doesn't water down my Gray Goose."
So, I wait, and wait, and wait. The shot doesn't arrive. Instead, a bill is placed in front of me. I think, "Perhaps she forgot to bring me the shot. Perhaps, she didn't understand what I had ordered." On the bill - Vodka - Gray Goose: $10, Cranberry juice: $3,20 + the beer. She didn't forget to charge me for the vodka!
I waived to get her attention and asked: "What happened to the vodka? You forgot to give me the shot."
She pointed at my glass.
I said, "There is no vodka in there, you were supposed to give me a shot of Gray Goose," I taped the $10 on the bill.
She shrugged and left. Five minutes later, she came back with a security guard.
"Good," I thought, "Finally somebody who speaks English." I told him what happened.
He stick a straw into my drink, tasted it and said: "Yes, there is vodka in there. I don't even drink vodka, but I know there is vodka in there."
I disagreed: "There is no vodka there, I watched her make the drink, and she didn't pour any vodka into my glass. Plus, according to the bill, she is charging me separately for the shot and the cranberry juice. Do you see a shot glass here?"
He asked her in French: "Did you put any vodka in her drink?" She nodded.
He ponied at the well gun and said: "We are not allowed to pour more than 30 ml of alcohol."
"30 ml? I didn't get anything! Plus, Gray Goose comes out of a bottle, not a well!"
"Give her a dollar back", he told the bartender, and went to play pool. Case closed!
So that's how things are at Piranha bar, in downtown Montreal. They are very strict when it comes to paying your bill, as far as serving you drinks, that's optional. We left in search of a better place to spend our money at.