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rev:Review
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2017-04-28T00:00:00
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n5:funnyReviews
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5
n5:usefulReviews
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rev:text
The tell tale symptoms of the Las Vegas tourist: randomly punctuated screams of, "Vegas Baby!", bizarre displays of sartorial atrocities (muu muu + green poker visor??) and of course, the ubiquitous 3 foot plastic containers of alcoholic slush that the unwashed masses carry around on neck lanyards. With my visits to Sin City topping the 3 digit mark, I'd like to think that I'd be past all of the trappings of the shameless tourist trade and yet... The drinks at Fat Tuesday are like that girl/guy that you're sort of ashamed to be seen with but when they're inside of you - or vice versa, I suppose - you just throw your head back and sigh contentedly... *sideways creep look* I'd liken it to a return to the womb, except that unlike amniotic fluid, these drinks are ice cold and alcoholic... and I've already probably exhausted my quota of sexual analogies for the day... but forreal doe: that first sip of the delicious slush is magical every time. Perhaps because your author is simultaneously a pretentious blowhard and a lover of all things low-end, I experience this particular quandary whenever I'm at Fat Tuesday. I love this shit, and yet I can't help but feel slightly ashamed that I like it so much. Which hearkens to my last visit to this particular location: Me: *swaying from one foot to another shiftily looking around* "H-h-hey dog... lemme get a small size 190 octane." FT Employee: "Why're you being so suspicious? Are we on a hidden camera show or something?" Me: "You killing me, man... Come on, I need it!" FT Employee: *nonplussed look* "da fuuuuuuq" I then threw the barkeep my ID with $15 and made the universal hand motion for "hurry up!" Tiring of my foolishness, he passed it to me with no further conversation. I then scurried back to my room where I proceeded to drink this fantastic blend of sugar, alcohol and synthetic flavorings (baby Jesus' tears?) in a dark corner with the shades drawn... pants may or may not have been removed - my memory gets progressively cloudier with advancing age. TLDR Summary: Fantastic taste, great price and makes you feel sorta dirty after you finish it. What more can you ask for in an adult beverage?
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