Please god, show up at least semi buzzed so you are distracted by the filth that is the Essen Haus. Then order up a boot of beer for you and your friends. Skip the food in general, but the soft pretzels will do in a pinch if the copious amounts of beer have endangered your stomach.
the good: their excellent selection of German beer, boots of beer and kitschy polka bands
the bad: everything else, including the kitschy polka bands