I wish I had John delivering in my area because the person delivering to me must be high on something, cocaine is one hell of a drug.
Same problem as Crystal, I was home ALL DAY expecting my precious new sexy boots, anticipating the doorbell when I could finally cradle them in my arms like a small child, but alas, no that wasn't going to happen. My precious was going to be at the back of a dark and lonely FedEx van, alone and shivering wondering why we couldn't be together.
I was watching their every move on-line for the week leading up to our reunion but delays in customs kept us apart when there was a small twist of fate and they were released, coming home to mama...Friday night, it was happening, this was it.
Friday arrives, its 5:00, I also hear the dreaded sound the pick-up slip easing its way through my front door as I was upstairs watching a pvr of the one and only Chelsea Lately, anticipating that bell, but no, no one rang my bell. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR SOMEONE TO RING MY BELL!? I run down, I am too late, I am mortified...its Friday, I can't not have them for the weekend, I couldn't let my precious be all alone in a (pause, lump in my throat) -facility.
I get on the horn and start ripping new assholes to the poor customer service reps, I know its not their fault, I know this but logic has left me in the form of supple brown, over the knee leather boots, and I cannot be reasoned with, all I see is red.
I believe all women in their hearts know the effects of footwear on our psyche and although I hate to say it, but its like its a secret society that we all understand-the lack of rationale associated with this footwear makes even the most sane of people crazy.
FedEx lady manages to find the driver and makes him, YES MAKES HIM-go back and deliver them to me it is now bordering the 6:00 mark and but my kid has hockey! DAMN YOU FATE and your twisted sense of humor! I tell FedEx lady that I won't be home at that time and to leave them with my neighbour, who is a very good friend of mine, but no matter what do not leave them outside as my house faces a green space that is regularly used by the public. She agrees that it won't be a problem.
I am in knots the entire time I am at the arena...thinking about my precious. Wondering if my neighbour would have had her way with them...no I can't think like that. I finally get home and see what I dreaded seeing. My precious all alone on my cold snowy doorstep, shivering, lonely, I live on a ridge and there are coyotes around too. Someone could have easily walked by and stolen them, $200 boots gone like that. Thankfully I got home in time and we were together.
Screw you FedEx, I am using Ups from now on.