Key Features: $5.00 (after tax) pints of Canadian between 3 - 6, Monday to Friday
Alright - so here's a true story.
One day, and it's summer, you see, some friends - and myself - are sitting upstairs on the patio. We're up there on the patio, you know, where you're seeing outside, but there's still a roof over you? And they have these palm trees. I think the palm trees are there for a Corona special, or something like that. There were posters saying there would be "Corona girls" if we stayed late enough. That sounded gross. We didn't stay late.
But here's why.
So, as I mentioned, we're sitting at this table beside a fake palmtree. Then, wham! It falls. The thing just falls. The wait staff look at us like, "hey - don't mess with that palm tree." The thing is, we didn't. So we move. Another couple sits beside the fake palm tree. We try to warn them. They think we're crazy strangers. To be fair, I have a beard. But I'm not crazy. I was being helpful. Halfway through their meal - WHAM! Palm tree falls on them. I shrug. Wait staff figures this palm tree - it's not a safe palm tree.
Still, they think it's our doing. They come over, set it up again. The couple moves on. they don't want to sit in the danger zone. No one does. It's a danger zone. But more people come and we need the space, so back to the palm tree. My buddy? His job - his one job - warn new people about the Attack-Tree that has struck twice already.
He does this. New people laugh. He's three seats from the tree. Thinks he's safe. Tree falls again! Misses the two people beside it, who were warned, and hits him! Irony of Irony! Dude is hit by the fake palm tree. So this is it. Another friend gets up, grabs the tree, starts shaking it over the edge, looking like he's going to toss it onto the street. To be fair, it had attacked us a few times, by this point.
Wait staff don't know what to do. Finally the rage in my buddy subsides, we all have a good laugh. Staff come over. They say don't do that. We could shower the dust on the people below. No one likes dust showers. Well, except birds. Anyway - so another buddy - he takes his shoe off, pulls the lace right on out of it, and ties this fake tree to the fence. True story. It hasn't fallen since. Go up to the second floor, and visit his safety lace.
We didn't even get a free drink out of it.
But - we were allowed to come back.
So that's the type of times you'll have at The Swan.
Plus - cheap beer in the West End, during happy hour.