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| - There are times when a review needs to be a lengthy, detailed tome covering every subtle nuance and overt misstep and there are times when a review needs to follow the KISS principle. What? You're not familiar with the KISS principle? Please allow me to elucidate.
Keep
It
Simple,
Stupid
The Coney Company. It's a hotdog and hamburger joint in Old Brooklyn. Strike that. It's a hotdog, hamburger, soup & salad, pita, sandwich, breakfast and snack joint in Old Brooklyn. Judging The Coney Company by its name would be like calling the Mona Lisa a painting of some chick. Sure, they've got your coney covered. You can get the traditional coney - a hotdog on a fluffy whitebread bun topped with chili, mustard and onions - or you can spring for their top-of-the-line bacon-wrapped, deep-fried dog topped with cheese sauce and jalapenos. But it doesn't stop at dogs.
As I mentioned earlier, The Coney Company has what I'd consider an expansive menu for such a humble eatery. It spans breakfast, lunch and dinner and every meal in between. I was perusing the menu and I came across a reuben, fish and chips, gyro, meatloaf, and a fried bologna sandwich. I won't spoil all of it for you, suffice it to say that if you're in the market for some simple, filling, made-to-order grub you will find it here.
On the eve of our visit, we decided to practice our own preaching by sticking with burgers and fries. Speaking of burgers, they are all ground fresh in house and made while you wait. No heat lamps or microwave ovens here folks. We got to see all the magic happen in their exposed kitchen. The burgers are offered in a nine different variations on the theme and a cheeseburger with the works - lettuce, tomato, onion, and the holy trinity of condiments - for $3.69. An order of their hand cut fries will set you back $1.99 and the order is big enough to feed a clan of Ooompa Loompas (or your average American couple).
While we didn't eat in the establishment that night, that's not to say it was because it wasn't inviting. The dining room was clean, gleaming even, open and well-lit by the large windows across the front. They even have a drive-through, but we didn't experience that either. Back to the food.
The burger was as tasty, well-seasoned and as fresh as any that I've had. I'd even go as far as to say it rivaled some burgers I've paid more than three times as much for. But the fries, the fries are some of the best I've had. Starchy works of art served in a little paper bag. Crispy, not greasy, skin-on, perfection. I used to think that Five Guys fries were my favorite chain fries, but these may have edged them out.
Sure, it's not some fancy schmancy Wagyu beef burger on an artisan brioche roll topped with truffle compound butter and a slice of foie gras, but for about $10 it's dinner for two. You get one helluva tasty burger a la the 4th of July family picnics you may remember as a child and a bag of completely addictive fries. As if all that weren't enough to get your butt over to Old Brooklyn, you're also supporting a local Cleveland business. I think all of that's a pretty good deal.
After all that, why not 5 stars? Honestly, and you may feel this is on the nit picking side, but I found the burgers to be a bit overcooked. I know, I know, beating the guy up over a well-done burger that still tasted damn good, but I am a stickler about this. We'll definitely be back. Who knows, maybe I'll have softened by that time.
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