Had to get a lighter last night. Did you know you get carded for lighters these days? (it was stolen by the barback at Jupiter's downtown who asked "hey virgil, can I steal your lighter" and then never brought it back to me!!!)
I had initially gone in and got cheese and cigarettes and diet dew, as that's what I do, and as i'm fishing around in my bag to find my lighter, I realized it was missing. So, I go back in to get one. I select a lovely orange one. The girl who cashed me out was not the same one as before.
Her: can I see your ID?
Me: you need to see my ID?
Other girl behind the counter: She's never checked you out before.
Me: Oh, she's "checked me out" before.
Everyone blushes.