| rev:text
| - It looks nice and shiny on the outside, but like most medieval latrines, it's all shit on the inside. Yeah, the casino floor isn't too bad and if you bet enough on the bar machines, you get free drinks. These two factors alone do not merit a second star. Unfortunately my girlfriend and I made the mistake of actually getting a room here.
(If you want to only read my review of our room and stay, please skip to the section entitled, "Our Second Mistake.")
The only reason we gave The Excalibur a chance was due to those delightful employees in blazers standing at every entrance. We were stopped by one on our way out after getting massages at the spa on Super Bowl Sunday. "Are you guys coming back to Vegas in the next 12 months? Yes? How about a deal?'
Sure, deals are great! Basically for a $99 deposit we would get a room for 2 nights and $99 worth of show tickets. We joked at the idea of staying in a knight themed room and signed up. We were told that we would only be out our deposit if we didn't book within a year.
We made our reservations and we told to use the rotunda entrance in the rear which I would describe as the asshole of the castle. We walked up to the desk, gave our information and the woman gave her spiel mentioning, "The tour," twice. We both did a double take and asked our new desk friend to clarify. Apparently we had singed up for a 2-3 hour tour of The Excalibur's timeshare (which we heard from a few sources throughout the weekend that it was more like 5 hours).
We backpedaled and told her nicely that we did not sign up for a timeshare presentation. She had claimed that when we originally singed up we initialed next to the tour agreement. First off, I read everything I sign, and second, I would never sign up for a timeshare presentation. I've made that mistake once and I will never do it again. When I asked them to produce the document they couldn't and gave some bullshit reason regarding accounting.
We decided to skip the tour and eat the $99 deposit, which they said would be our penalty. We found a cheap deal through expedia, and decided to give the Knight Themed room a try.
Our Second Mistake
Once we got to the front desk to claim our room we saw that there was an upgrade for $50 a night for a hot tub in the room. I rarely turn down a hot tub and we were looking for a relaxing vacation, so we splurged.
The room was dull and the only knight themed decor were the plastic sconces on the wall and the shield crest on the headboard...oh and the pictures of crowns in the bathroom, which will now refer to as the ice skating rink. The walls were bland and the tub sat in the round tower you see on the corners of the exterior.
We ALWAYS pull the dry clean only comforter off the bed first thing. Anyone who thinks they clean those is just fooling themselves. We then noticed the holes in the bed sheets and it then sank in that we had made a mistake.
Don't expect anything from a room upgrade in the ice skating rink. The shower reminded me of my Grandma's when I was a kid, before they remodeled. If you get any water on the floor, and you will because the non tub showers leak, you WILL be in for slip or two, and if you take anything from this review, just be careful after you shower. Oh, and ALL towels smelled of mildew. It was disgusting and unacceptable.
The internet in the room consisted of an ethernet cable that barely reached the bed. It had a broken prong and had to be held at an angle to keep the connection, which made it difficult to order theater tickets because it took three or four tries to progress to the next page.
When I called the spa/pool desk to ask if they had wifi by the pool, the lady just laughed at me. Even their employees think this place is a joke, and that says a lot. They ended up charging us for the two rooms we didn't get with the timeshare scheme and $147 for the "$100" upgrade. In total $550 was spent for two nights there. We would have happily spent that at a nicer hotel and been perfectly content, and we suggest you do as well.
*Accepts Credit Cards (Absolutely, but I don't recommend you letting them get a hold of it.)
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