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  • I actually want to either give the Grog one star or five stars, because it's an infuriatingly inconsistent venue. Yelp should make their rating scale an animated .gif where you can elect to have it twinkle back and forth between two different star ratings instead of just choosing one. Last time I went to the Grog I fled in tears and you would probably have to gently bathe me in Cristal and wrap me in snow tiger pelts and give me a pedicure and deep tissue massage in the back of a limo for three hours to get me to go back there. The bartenders ignored me while pouring tequila shots for throngs of rapey frat boys and and the door guy wouldn't let me back in to find my scarf 5 minutes before closing and basically snarled at me until I left. SOMEONE didn't go to Waldorf school. It's called "using your words," jerkface. That said, I have also had a really good time here. Some of the bartenders are total sweeties and some of them, uh, aren't. It's a rock bar in Cleveland. Go to Portland if you want a vegan Ph.D. candidate to ask how your day was while making you something with house-infused raw ginger bourbon and fennel pollen and imported marasca cherries. The security/cooler dude is menacing and amazing; he trained at the Kremlin and apprenticed at the bar from Road House before coming here and is an adorable combination of feral and cuddly and I want to give him a high five every time I see him.
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