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| - I originally wrote this review in the summer of 2016 and it's just been sitting in my drafts ever since. Here: laugh, learn and love. Happy Valentine's Day.
Review starts here: I have been with State Farm for going on 20 years now. This is the worst experience I've ever had.
When I bought my car in February, I called to set up my insurance right then, while I was at the dealership. I was told by the agent (She will remain nameless... for now) that if I bundled the car insurance and renters insurance with a life insurance policy, my premium would actually be less than if I did just the car and renters. I'm working on this thing called trust lately. A typically cynical guy, my new M.O. is to trust until given a reason otherwise. So I trust her.
I shouldn't have.
A couple months later, the life insurance company calls to ask me some personal questions about my life. I was given no advance notice from State Farm that someone would be calling. The person from the life insurance sector was pretty bad at identifying them self, so bad in fact, that when they finally explained what they were doing, I was too skeptical that someone may have stolen my identity and was trying to get further information. So I tell them I don't want the life insurance (I already have some thru my job anyway) and tell them to cancel it. They say they'll do it and that I don't need to do anything further.
(going valley girl for a moment) So, like, then... suddenly, my premium is around $52 less a month. And, like, I totally get a check from the life insurance company for like 3 times that (3 months of payments for a product I didn't want and they couldn't approve because I wouldn't finish the phone call with them). And, I'm like, Omigod you guys! YOU'RE A LIAR!
So I'm all cool and shit, until I get a phone call from the agent and she wants me to call her, but I'm thinking to myself, "hell no! I don't want to talk to you and just get lied to; I think we're all good here."
And that was all good and true, until about 2 months later, when I'm hit with a much larger premium than my normal monthly premium. So I call and since it's after hours, I get the after hours crew and they tell me that someone went ahead and got my life insurance interview approved.
hmmmm... Can someone tell me if that's legal? I'm serious. I actually don't know if it's legal for someone to get the life insurance company to approve your life insurance policy without you yourself doing the interview. Let me know (PMs are cool... just no dick pics; I'm happily married.)
OH oh oh oh oh oh! THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!! Guess what happened next. Oh, you don't know?! I know, because it's so stupid that I wouldn't even have been able to DREAM, nay NIGHTMARE this up.
I get a call from the agent who wants to talk to me... and I'm thinking (again), "nah, gir... we good." But then something inside me says "maybe you aren't good... maybe if you don't call her, you ain't gonna get no refund." And so I pick up the phone and call her back.
Me; HEY GIRL! What's UP!? You rang?! (Keep it positive Luke. keep. it. positive.)
And she tells me if I don't want the insurance, I have to COME IN and sign a cancellation form.
Me: Can you email or fax it to me? I will have to come in on my lunch and I'd prefer to eat lunch during that time. (instead of dealing with this ever exploding shotgun burst of diarrhea)
Her: No. You have to come in to sign it. Don't worry. Just let me know when you're on your way, and I'll have it ready for you to sign.
Suffice it to say, when I got there at 12:35pm (and I told her 12:30pm or shortly thereafter), she was about to walk out the door for lunch and she didn't have the form printed out.
I'm kind of afraid to post this, because I'm afraid of some other form of retaliation from that office.
n.b. this morning, I called the after hours office to ask them if I really had to come in to sign the paper work or if she was just making this up to make my life inconvenient. They didn't know, but they said they would get in touch with Perry directly and have him address it. He never got back to me about it. He saw me when I walked in, turned around and walked away (quite literally into a corner). Very strange. I'll be moving my policy to a different branch soon, because this kind of incompetent behavior is not the State Farm I knew in TX, CA or NYC. This kind of behavior does not deserve the money I work hard for.
Take aways from today's review:
Perry Olson avoids clients
His agent ("her") is capable of lying to line her pockets
Ever exploding shotgun cloudburst of diarrhea
Luke's Law: You can't duck out of the way of an ever exploding shotgun cloudburst of diarrhea. You can however avoid involvement. Choose to avoid involvement.
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