| rev:text
| - Not only the worst BK franchise I've ever been to... but probably the worst-managed restaurant franchise I've ever encountered. It's a like a bad (bad) movie...
OPEN ON two guys and a girl in a GREEN SOUL ordering drive through from Burger King on East Wash. They are hungry, but their order is easy. Just three burgers, twp fries, and one drink.
AUDIO OVER (BK INTERCOM VOICE, with a bored lackluster air): "Okay, drive up to the window."
The CAR pulls up behind two other cars waiting for their orders. And they wait. And wait. And wait. Six minutes later, the first car finally gets their food and drives off.
The CARS pull up closer. And they wait. And wait. And wait.
A few minutes later, two uniformed BURGER KING EMPLOYEES, one man and one woman, exit the restaurant. They hang out in by the waiting CARS in front of the restaurant. Chatting for a few minutes, then amble back into the restaurant.
The CARS continue to wait. Minutes more pass.
Two more BURGER KIND EMPLOYEES, two women, exit the store with a TODDLER in tow, but they are carrying huge bags of BK food.
The DRIVER of the GREEN SOUL, "This is ridiculous, we've been waiting over 10 minutes, I'm getting out of here. Mickey D's is right over there.... Wait... Hey, are those BK employees carrying out FOOD?!"
BURGER KING EMPLOYEE #1, puts up her arm carrying a huge bag of TAKEOUT and uses her body to physically block the GREEN SOUL from leaving. The TODDLER wanders aimlessly and dangerously around the parking lot.
The CAR in front of the GREEN SOUL receives their order finally, and drives off. The CAR waiting for food behind the SOUL peels out of line, barely missing the wandering TODDLER.
BURGER KING EMPLOYEE #1 (shouting at the CASHIER through the window): "How long have these nice people been waiting?!
CASHIER (searching for the order ticket): "Um... 15 minutes."
BK EMPLOYEE #1 (shouting): "Well, give them two free ice creams for making them wait so long!"
SOUL PASSENGER #1 (quietly): "It's okay, we just want the food we ordered.... And, besides, there are three of us. Not two."
BK EMPLOYEE (angrily shouting through the cashier window): "Just get them some ice cream... they were almost going to leave, you guys are so slow. Lucky I stopped them. You're the manager. Manage!"
A few more minutes pass. One single ICE CREAM is passed through the window to the waiting passengers. Then, finally, a BAG with the burgers and fries arrives. The GREEN SOUL drives off down East Wash. Watching carefully to be sure the wandering TODDLER isn't in the way.
SOUL PASSENGER takes a bite out of his burger, and spits it out into a napkin: "Oh my god! How in the hell did they ruin a Whopper, for chrissakes!?
SOUL DRIVER: What's wrong with it?
SOUL PASSENGER #1: "It's cold. And I mean cold. It doesn't taste like meat. It's just rubbery and tasteless... and where's the char-broiled taste? Did they forget to add it? The cheese is in no way melted. There's a wilted mass of white lettuce core shoved in the middle, like a bad surprise. The bun crusty and stale.... do I need to go on--?
SOUL PASSENGER #2, sampling a french fry: "And my fries are soggy and cold, too.... and no ketchup packets in the bag. And my bun's stale, too!"
SOUL DRIVER starts to laugh: "that was so bad, I expected cameras to come out of the door next, 'smile, you're on candid camera!"
SOUL PASSENGER #1: "Or 'Punked."
SOUL PASSENGER #2: "We were punked, all right. Let's ditch this sorry excuse for food and order Culver's... the food is always hot and delicious there. And the staff is nice and helpful, too.
The GREEN SOUL exits East Wash, and on the way into CULVER'S, PASSENGER #1 exits the vehicle, and throws the BK bags of food away in the CULVER'S garbage can.
SOUL PASSENGER #2 getting back into the car: "Never again."
SOUL PASSENGER #1 and SOUL DRIVER: "Never again!"
THE END.
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