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| - Romeo had a few weeks off to recover from his belly button surgery. When I asked what the surgery was for; his exact explanation was: "You know how my belly button pops out? So, they popped it back in." I grabbed Ricardo, and we all drove down to the restaurant without me asking many more questions.
As far as Churrasqueiras go in Toronto, it doesn't get any fancier than Martins. I was confused as to why Romeo brought us to this particular Churrasqueira. As soon as we entered we were met by the six million dollar man; Romeo's boss. We call him that because every year he makes approximately six million dollars. Immediately, I calculated how much cash I had on me, because I knew this was going not going to be a frugal affair.
We sat, and the waitress came, and it became clear to me why we had come here. Romeo's eyes lit up like he'd seen a girl for the first time. My eyes lit up upon gazing at the menu as if I've just discovered food had prices. Let's just say it wasn't your typical Portuguese amount. Nothing ridiculous though. Tiger shrimp, olive and salami plate, and a whole bunch of other things that I didn't recognize. The shrimp was sliced in half from its back, which made it a significantly less messy affair than regular seafood sessions. I ordered a bottle of Sagres, which turned out to be a mistake. So I corrected the mistake by ordering a bottle of Super Bock, and that will forever be the day that I discovered Super Bock, the delicious uniquely flavoured Quebec beverage of the distinguished broken-English speaking gentlemen. It went perfectly with my pork, but it would have pair even better than perfect if I ordered anything else than the pork.
The sausage was disappoint, and I got a side of rice because the enormous chips that came with my meal was such an acquired taste that only someone who grew up eating it could appreciate. The steak however was satisfactory, and some of the fish dishes were very impressive. Somehow, I feel that this menu is better served during the summertime.
I asked the waitress how old she was, and she pretended not to speak English. I persisted and she gave in. My friends cautioned me on the very North American tendency of shying away from questioning a woman about her age, and I reminded that neither any of us or the waitress was born on this Continent, so just get real.
I got her age didn't I, Romeo? You starry eyed lush. When we said no to dessert, I swear I almost saw Romeo shed a tear because it meant we won't be staying for another minute longer. Not like he didn't have his chance. Waitress girl came to our table at least right times speaking only to him in Portuguese while ignoring the rest of us. It would have been a beautiful love affair only if Romeo wasn't Captain Flop.
It came out to $150 plus tips, and you can bet Romeo turned that tip from tip sized, to suggestion size. #shaft
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