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  • I'm not going to lie to you, I'm not a fan of Paradise Bakery. I think it's expensive, pretentious, foods no good, and just the epitome of everything fake and bad in Scottsdale. But I do have to say, I have invented the best dang sandwich Paradise Bakery could possibly make for you. Check it out, it's simple. Ham & Swiss on a croissant! Also get it without that crumby mustard sauce they wanna put on it. Just croissant, ham, Swiss, mayo, and regular mustard and this is basically the best sandwich the PB can make you! (But fair warning, it will be expensive.) Also I want to say that their croissants are not even that good. When the dude you work with starts telling you how PB's croissants are "to die for" you immediately tell him he's a momma's boy for saying that horse trash and then call him out on the internet. That's right, I'm stating that these croissants are a'ight and since I did it right here on Yelp, I freakin' win because someday in the future some kid is going to be writing his research paper on Paradise Bakery and come across my Yelp account and he'll be all, "and they had a'ight croissants!" (Spohn, Yelp). I need to get another thing off my mind, this sandwich didn't come with that pasta salad. You have to pay extra for it and it's like $5 or something. Meanwhile the sandwich comes with a cookie was like $9 and then a drink was like $3, so seriously, this was a $16 or $17 lunch! Funk that!!! Don't buy the pasta. It's not that good or worth it. $5 could feed a college student Ramen noodles for a month. Also let's talk about the cookie. Ya'll are on crack thinking PB has the best cookies. They're not even cooked all the way and not in the that, "Yum! so soft and fresh way," but like they are straight up, not even done cooking way. Cookies suck yo.
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