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| - Pop quiz: how sad is it that eating at this Yard House was one of my most anticipated moments before getting on the plane and heading out to Las Vegas for a few days? Gambling, glitz, girls and other words that start with "G" are all fine and dandy, but sometimes a guy just wants to down a few beers, chomp on some outstanding food and unwind in a place where not everyone is a raging tourist carrying an over-sized plastic drink that is watered down and reeks of desperation. This is that place.
My folks and I actually made it over here before they opened on a Monday morning and people were already lined up at 10:50 a.m. That's cool, right? This place clearly has a faithful audience, as evidenced by this review. And once those doors opened, shoot: it's like the customers in line thought the first 10 people in the door got a free unicorn that performs karaoke exclusively to hair metal songs. They rushed the door with a fervent desire to be first in and we just sort of meandered in after them. It's a big place with plenty of seats - there's no point in scrambling over each other to be the first one in. There's a lengthy patio, a surrounded bar and more seating than the average bar would know what to do with.
A hostess guided us to a booth opposite a table of nine individuals who exemplified the "money cannot buy class" rule. We overheard them tell the waitress they had to be out of there to catch a movie so right away you could tell this had potential to be the table from Hell. We already felt for this gal and then we realized she was waiting on us, too! Let it be known that Tasha, our waitress, got the MVP award for eternity during this shift because when the place opened, it appeared she got triple sat right out of the gate. Now I'm not an expert in the service industry but I know how hard it is to recover from a hand dealt like that in the opening minutes. We assured her we were in no rush, mostly because we weren't, and partly because we did not want to witness a breakdown on the floor. To her credit, she kept her cool and was efficient as she was sassy.
Speaking of keeping cool, you might want to psych yourself up before eating here because the menu is positively Dickensian with its verbiage. Six pages of beer alone?! No, you have not died and gone to Heaven; you just happened to wander into a place thriving with variety. Being that we stopped in for lunch, we stuck with sandwiches and the must-have lunch combo: a cup of soup and half a sandwich/pizza. Mom's chicken avocado sandwich was polished off with ease, Dad's... whatever Dad ate, was equally delicious, and my tortilla soup and pepperoni pizza were wolfed down in a shameful display almost as noticeable as my preference for hopping around the beer menu: Big Sky Moose Drool can totally give way to Kronenbourg 1664 if you try.
And through it all Tasha managed the suffocating requests of her demanding table, a performance that would go unnoticed if you were not paying attention given that everyone working here is a study in quick service and attentiveness. Food runners actually running food? Hostesses navigating the dining room with purpose? Bartenders keeping their orders flowing? You'd better believe it. We did not see a manager but I am assuming one was on duty, probably sitting in the rafters like Batman/woman, waiting to pounce when the need makes itself known.
There was one last bit of unfinished business: dessert. I'll just say this now: order the s'more brownie item. It will change your life. As the owner and operator of a beard and mustache, it almost made me consider shaving them off due to me realizing hot marshmallow embedded into my hair is not the most glamorous feeling. But wow if that was not the best way to go into a sugar coma that I have had the pleasure of eating in quite a while.
Yes, Yard House is a chain and yes, you know what you're getting by eating at one. But this one in particular has service and set up down to an art form. More TVs than you could ever watch? Extensive seating? A prime location away from most of the touristy things? Absolutely. And believe the hype, too - until the owners build one of these in Dallas, TX (hint, hint), it will remain a "must-go" destination for any upcoming Las Vegas trips. Who am I kidding? Even after they build one in Dallas, TX (nudge, nudge), I'll still be stopping here.
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