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  • Indianapolis is two time-zones earlier than Calgary. If you're time-zone challenged, this means when its noon in Calgary, its 2PM in Indy. In Calgary, I woke up at the hotel, putzed around, checked email, read a couple of blogs, yelp, got ready for my meeting and left, skipping breakfast. Around noon, before returning to the hotel, my only objective was to get a chilidog at the A&W just down the street. I made it all the way into the A&W when I realized I had left my Canadian money at the hotel - which I didn't need really because I have credit cards. But I wanted to *spend MY Canadian money*. Shit. No worries, I'll go back to the hotel, check out, and with Canadian money in hand return to the A&W. By this time it was noon in Calgary or, 2PM on my bio clock (see above). I vaguely realized this depression in blood sugar was starting to affect my thinking - at least I knew that. But that didn't stop me from doing nothing about it. In fact, when I discovered the A&W didn't serve chili dogs, I left outright and drove around aimlessly for 30 minutes or more. For some odd reason I resisted McDonalds because it was, in my mind, too unhealthy - as if McDonalds could somehow be less healthy than two chilidogs and fries. I wandered until I stumbled upon an international grocery and went in hoping to find some nuts or dates or I don't even know. I found none of that, but I did find two packages of curry powder and bought them. I don't know why. Departing from the Mecca of weird and immediately inedible foods, I took a bunch of wrong turns and realized even more that instead of making it to the airport, I stood an equal chance of being immobilized by a hypoglycemic coma on the side of the road like an ant with a brain fluke frozen on a blade of grass glistening in the morning dew. Then I happened by Wok-fo-u. I had to go in not because I knew I must eat - which I did - but because somehow I thought the name was a play on words and someone was saying to me and any other potential customer:"wok-for-you" or "wok-f-u" or "wok-fuc-u" or I don't even know...and I'm fascinated by these sorts of intended and unintended malintents. Wok-fo-u seem like mostly a take-away place because the space is small, they have a counter for ordering and only a couple of tables. Plus the "to-go" signs all over the place are a dead giveaway. Even in my depreciated state, I could tell that. Unfortunately it took nearly 20 minutes to get my two deep-fried and deeply unhealthy appetizers - pot stickers and egg rolls. By the time the food landed, it had been nearly 20 hours since my last meal. I was nearly comatose and running dangerously close to being late for my flight. My decision to eat this meal in the car while racing to the airport was, in a word: Stupid. I bit hard into the first pot sticker and scalding hot oil squirted all over the place, but most especially on me. Still, with my starvation clearly in the driver's seat, I managed to get most of the meal down or, on the inside of the car while simultaneously and unintentionally filling the rental to only 7/8 of a tank which ultimately costs me 25 bucks. So yeah...3 stars for wFU for being such a good sport. What was I talking about? They have Pho and lunch specials and its very clean in there.
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