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  • There's an adage that states pizza is like sex; even when it's bad, it's still pretty good. Mellow Mushroom disproved this theory for me last night. On this historic night, I had the worst pizza of my life, and I'm dishing out my first ever one-star review. We ordered a $9 Greek salad. The thinly cut vegetables (i.e. pizza toppings) weren't plentiful enough to distract us from the fact that the bagged iceberg lettuce was browning. I did enjoy the creamy Italian dressing, which they named "esperanza". I can't find anything nice to say about the pizza. It was an abomination. The crust was uneven and undercooked in places, and it was very sweet with a hint of cinnamon, like eating a cinnamon raisin bagel. The red sauce was also sweet. The cheese was plasticky and tasteless. Each piece of our "Kosmic Karma" pie was topped with a Roma tomato slice and a drizzle of pesto sauce, which now seems like a better alternative to the red sauce, but combined to make the pizza soggy. And to boot, this medium, vegetarian pizza was insanely expensive at $20. Twenty Bucks! I can say that the service was good, and I liked the decor. It's a brick, multi-level building, a remnant from the Rock Bottom that was the previous tenant. I also really liked the movie theater theme of this restaurant, which was pretty cool. (I found out that each Mellow Mushroom location has a different theme. I'd been to one other location that had a much weaker theme, but much better food.) I was anything but Mellow when I left dinner last night. Regretful Mushroom would be a better name.
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