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| - If you could take all of the mediocre barrique's experiences and compress them into a big turd, that would have been today. i just don't get the appeal of this place - is it just because every thing else is worse by comparison? What a horrible reason to like something.
so, it would seem as if Barrique's is trying to present themselves as some kind of euro-experience come to the midwest. it has a nice, cozy, sit-down and come out of the cold feel. so, i'll give it 1 star for ambiance. they do have a (1) decent armagnac, and an assortment of wine, as well as a nice selection of sour beer. so, that gets them another star.
However, in all other ways, they just suck. It's typical to get food that's subpar. so, that goes without saying. For example, a whole banana smeared with peanut butter and jelly, wrapped in an untoasted whole wheat tortilla. i hope you understand that that's a bastardized peanut butter and jelly sandwich selling for $5? that'd be appealing if I was 12, but, then i'd make it myself. and if i was making it myself, i'd know enough to toast the damn thing, because if you don't, you get a mouthful of cold, mushy dough, without the contrasting texture of crispy, warm tortilla. Or, how about, a couple pieces of chicken, fewer pieces of bacon, a loft of filler spinach, and enough ranch dressing to make you vomit, wrapped in, unsurprisingly, an untoasted tortilla? Once again, cold, mushy dough. Now, look at the menu, and picture this same scenario for every piece of food they sell that is wrapped in the sandwich cliche known as the tortilla. if it helps add to the visual, imagine the salad greens are brown and slimy.
Today, though, saw a whole new level of not giving a crap, with the gustatory experience that is the Barrique's Breakfast Sandwich. This delicacy is billed as a "fresh egg omelet with Hook's cheddar on a Barriques Breakfast roll. Add Applewood bacon or sausage for $1.25". Well, in spite of that description, the bundle of joy I received was 1 single egg, unscrambled, with the yolk broken, and cooked hard, (for the record, it is generally recognized that 3 eggs is an omelet, 2 eggs a scramble, and 1 egg is bullsh*t), cheddar cheese that was obviously process garbage, a wee bit of ham that could have been a scrap that might have fallen off of a what one might imagine a real sandwich to be, all on a miniature hamburger bun. Now, maybe this piece of bread was generously mislabeled as a dinner biscuit in the chain store it was purchased from, but, that doesn't change the fact that it had the same size and texture as a white castle hamburger bun. All told, this massive taste sensation had the diameter of a silver dollar, and the flavor and texture of reheated Arby's hot ham and cheese. It's diminutive size was starkly contrasted against the full sized dinner plate it was served on. Now, some may say that the cheap price ($2.65) appeals to the homeless person in all of us, but, when you consider it would take 5 of these things to fill your stomach, and your stomach would shortly thereafter vomit the contents back onto that massive plate in protest, the whole thing reveals itself for lie that it really is. The false promise of the american dream made manifest in the farcical breakfast sandwich that sat in front of me. And then, to wash it all down, was a burned and acrid coffee, more bitter than anything even star bucks would ever dare to serve.
sweet mother of god, people, get your sh*t together.
Never again Barriques! I'll be back for your one, good armagnac, that somehow made it on your shelves. but, everything else is aptly summed up by your own motto "wine for the masses, coffee for the people". Sorry, I'm not into cafeteria food.
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