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| - This review is not a review that I'm writing after one trip to the Green Beanery. Rather, it's a review after multiple trips/purchases to here (would say at least 7 times) since September 2015, which is when I moved into the area. The TL;DR of this review is:
- Coffee/Food Quality: Ranges from bad to dreadful
- Service: Awful
- Cost: Overpriced for what it is
- General Amenities + Ambiance: Not good
Before I continue, there are a number of other cafes in the area that are absolutely excellent if you walk another 5 minutes, those being Black Rock Coffee and the Good Neighbour.
My baseline for any cafe, regardless of its state of cleanliness or level of service, is simple. Is the coffee any good? I consistently tried ordering different items every time I entered the Green Beanery, and every experience has left me feeling pretty disappointed. The last time I visited, the cortado I ordered was overly sour with no milk to speak of (it was basically an espresso). But, it's the qualities of the GB that makes it even worse.
The cortado that I just mentioned took 15-minutes to make. The Early Bird, another great cafe on Queen St. that I visit, takes close to exactly 5 minutes from the moment I enter to get the cup of coffee into my hands (I've timed it multiple times). The staff promptly forgot about my order, then proceeded to hastily make a coffee that was terrible.
The level of service ranges from incompetent, rude, indifferent, or clueless. Look, I grew up in Southeast and East Asia. I'm plenty used to restaurant/cafe service not being exactly what I would want it to be every time. But the Green Beanery's attitude towards its customers can be summed up in two words: "Fuck off".
The fact that it's basically the same price as many great cafes around the area for such subpar coffee and service just adds salt to the wound.
Besides that, there's no wifi and the cafe is poorly lit. Half the cafe is dedicated to coffee-making tools instead of more seating arrangements (makes me think they actually don't want people to stay).
The GB is really, really bad at what they do. It's obvious that the management and front-line staff need some serious self-reflection about the state of their cafe. Really, the only thing they have going for them (and probably what's keeping them afloat) is their central location.
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