| rev:text
| - Please let this review serve as a cautionary tale, entitled "DON'T EAT CRAB CAKES IN CLEVELAND!"
I should of known better when I arrived in Cleveland at 8pm and nothing was open. It was a ghost town. The only thing that even looked remotely open on this strip was this bar. I was hungry and they had beer, so I sat down and ordered a drink.
When the bar tender put the glass of Stella in front of me, she said, "My name is Sarah, I'll be your server tonight. Welcome to Cleveland the biggest meth producing city in the whole United States, as well as, one of the largest cities for adult services."
I immediately like her. She was funny. So, I decided to stay and order food. Being the exotic food eater that I am, I decided to order the crab cakes with chipolte mayo on a bed of coleslaw and forcancia bread. When Sarah brought out the food it looked fine, smelled great, and tasted delicious too. I ate those crab cakes voraciously while Sarah entertained me with a story.
After that, I had one more drink and paid my tab, since it was getting late. 10pm to be exact. I walked back to the hotel and had a relaxing night until I was rudely awakened by a gurgling in my stomach. I looked at the clock and the red numbers said 3am.
I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, but the rumbling in my tummy was getting worse and before I knew it, I was in the water closet on my hands and knees, hailing to the porcelain goddess.
So please take my advice on this. If you find yourself in a place like Cleveland, where nothing is open past 8pm on a Saturday night, no less, except one little bar, do yourself a favor and don't eat the crab cakes. Choose the grilled cheese and fries instead!
I'm sure my story would have had a happier ending!
|