rev:text
| - "This is a call
"That's all
"You'll ever get from me"
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In A Sentence
Real pretty and shiny yet go beyond the lobby and one is met with the most incompetent, rude staff in all of hospitality, anywhere.
Quick Review
+ Beds, and pillows, and walls/doors to keep the space private, and climate control, and hot water. It's closed now: that's nice.
- Staff rude.
Pro Tip: Find it on Hotwire® [ https://www.yelp.com/biz/hotwire-san-francisco ].
Employee of Excellence
N/A. I suppose I can definitively state that it is certainly the executive fatcat who chose to close it.
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Often, amenable accommodations can be soured by an incompetent staff that ruins one's stay, or potential stay. Some might say that one should not give so much weight to service, and instead ignore it and enjoy the space created by human architect professionals who dedicated so much of their lives to creating at some recent point of our species' history for the sole purpose of potential enjoyment by other humans.
I think that the staff at Crowne Plaza Hotel - Phoenix should be maligned. Not merely maligned; but, summarily fired. All of those humans: fired.
Staff is rude. And incompetent. And -- worst of all -- disrespectful.
Here is my personal customer experience:
Travel was carried out from Las Vegas, Nevada, U.S.A. to Phoenix, Arizona, U.S.A. via motor vehicle. There is no interstate 11 or 13 or whatever the hell it is going to be, so it takes a while. The hotel we were supposed to have arranged for the team -- competition and officiating (really only one official) -- was F.U.B.A.R. Our official deleted the email or some shit and we arrived so late that the fight promoter was not answering his phone. Fuck it.
I get on my handy handset and bring up Hotwire-dot-com. I find a decent hotel and book it. I pay. I used a Credit Card to pay, since you tools at Yelp® HQ are so into details. The credit card even had my fucking name on it! (This review will go the full 5000 now, fucktards.)
It's booked. We drive in that direction. We arrive. I get out with a fighter from a well-known mega-gym here in Sin City. It's really fucking late. 2 A.M. 3 A.M. I don't fucking know: split the difference ... it was 2:30 A.M. in the goddamn morning.
Go in. Some asshole is at the front desk. Give 'em our information. No room.
What?
No room.
What!
No room.
I reserved it on Hotwire; are you sure there is not some glitch. We are really tired. We can hash out the discrepancies during the daytime. I just want to book a room, dude.
No.
What?
No.
What!
We're auditing ... (my hearing goes out and I start to see red like Jack probably did in The Shining when he was completely berserk and -- SPOILERS -- attempted to double-homicide his wife and kid).
I looked at the fighter from Wand Fight Team® (shit, HQ wanted details) and I am pretty sure he might start swinging wildly in a Wandesque from PrideFC® days melee so I calmly ask this guy again what exactly is his malfunction and why in the fuck can we not get a fucking room in his fucking hotel or in this whole goddamn godforsaken shit town?
1. He's auditing something or another and he cannot book rooms from I don't know what time to some other time.
Hmmmmph. So, if I book on Hotwire during this window, will it not show in your systems dude? Because Hotwire took my fucking money. From my credit card. The one with my fucking name on it!
We never came to an agreement on that.
2. NASCAR® or some other trailer park/yokel faux-sport is in town and all the hotels are booked. Why the guy who won't answer his phone would schedule the Arizona State Championship during this particular weekend must be some fuckery that cannot be made sense of.
3. He shows no remorse for any of this.
The Wand guy looks like he wants to severely batter him. I give him the don't do that, we'll get a room in a jail cell look and we walk off. I call Hotwire and cancel within minutes after explaining. They were remorseful, and it really wasn't even their fault. I don't know: maybe this guy at the Crowne was a huge NASCAR fanatic and he was scheduled to work all weekend. Don't know, don't care. This is why Thor and Yelp created one-star reviews.
Note for Yelp HQ
You already removed this review twice. If you remove it again: I'll post it again.
Moreover, you claim that my 2,065 character second edition review was not "provid[ing] enough detail about [my] customer experience." Fucking trolls. There is a review from an "Elite" that starts and ends with "Pass...." That is the entire review. Nothing else. And, my review gets removed within days for lack of details? Fucking trolls. Worthless, minimum wage-earning, plain rice-eating (with stolen ketchup packets as the side) trolls.
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Not good for tourists.
Not good for kids.
Not good for dogs.
No Apple Pay®!
Rating: One-star, "Eek! Methinks not." [5000.]
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