| rev:text
| - NSFW: language.
So my boyfriend and I decided to get a late dinner on a lazy day, and we tried The Hub for the first time. Walking in, I saw an advertisement for their "horrible beer cheddar soup," described by one reviewer as having been so bad, her dog refused to eat the leftovers. I ordered that just for kicks along with a peanut butter burger. Mistakes happen to the best of us, and beer, cheddar, bacon, and onion sounded good, but ultimately it was bland, boring, and even a little gross. The bacon seemed too chewy and a bit "off" in a way that's difficult for me to put my thumb on. I had a few bites to make sure the first try wasn't a fluke and then stopped. The burger was fantastic, however, so I thought, No harm, no foul. This soup ain't for everybody. We'll come back another time to try other menu items.
My stomach begged to fucking differ.
I woke up at half past three in the goddamn morning feeling nauseous. I don't know about you, but for me nausea has always had one of two forms: an "ewww disgusting" feeling that's enough to bring my mood down some at most but doesn't go further, and "go to the bathroom NOW" mode that meant honking up the contents of my stomach was sure to come. This was definitely the latter. I spent a few minutes in denial, using breathing exercises and telling myself it would pass, until my stomach said, "Nah, honey, get to the toilet ASAP or your carpet's gonna be a bitch to clean in the morning."
I smelled and tasted nothing but beer cheddar bacon soup, bile version, while bent over the loo.
Take this as a lesson to be learned: if a DOG turns down BACON AND CHEDDAR (presumably a non-picky eater, as that review implies--to say nothing of the fact that cat shit and their own vomit are like delicacies to them), maybe you should, I don't know, take note of that. Especially if someone throws up after eating a bit of your shit. Is that a lot to ask?
At this point of reading, if you try the garbage at The Hub known as the beer cheddar soup, aware that a dog has turned it down and a customer has thrown up, you deserve any nastiness tossed your way.
The peanut butter burger and chips were absolutely FABULOUS, though. 10/10 would try them again. I'd just need someone to pick them up for me because I ain't goin' through Hub's doors any time soon. Perhaps I'll work up the courage to return; my stomach can be forgiving sometimes. Just please, if you're reading this, stay the heavenly baby Jesus' sake away from that blasted soup unless you've got a titanium belly.
+3 stars for the cool atmosphere and awesome burgers aside from the devil's piss.
-2 stars for ungodly-sacrilegious-soup-induced night of stomach upchucking.
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