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| - I can't recall the last time I was at a restaurant and felt so displaced. Upon walking in, I first noticed the Christmas decor...before even getting to the interior of the restaurant. Turning into the interior, I then found myself wondering why it was so dark. There's mood lighting, and then there's this. It was just dark. The inside looked like a wonton noodle restaurant...with strobe lights. Yeah. The round tables are square tables that have expansions to make them round. Very obvious extensions. No tablecloths here! An awkward, tiny little candle is placed in the centre of the table. Tea is served in brown plastic cups. The bowls are typical Chinese restaurant bowls. The plates are like big teacup china saucers, complete with floral pattern. It doesn't fit together...at all. Did I mention that the strobe lights are on? Yeah. While I'm having my baked rices and chow mein, the strobe lights are blinking in fluorescent greens and pinks. That's a first.
It's a Tuesday night. They have a live band with a singer, a guitarist, a drummer and a guy on the keyboard (keyboardist?) There were 17 patrons in the restaurant including a baby under the age of one, and a toddler under four. Less than a fifth of the restaurant was occupied. Do I detect an issue? If you're paying a live band to play for 17 people, the money has to come from somewhere...
The menu. It's a mishmash of Chinese tea house (cha chan tang) classics like baked rices and sizzling plates, Chinese entrees (stir fried green beans with salty fish), and Filipino entrees (sisig sans rice anyone?). It's also more expensive than I've ever seen before. Yeah. We're paying through the teeth so that we can listen to that four piece live band.
Had:
Shredded pork chow mein ($11.99) - Crispy noodles, but sauce was a tad bland. Most expensive shredded pork chow mein I've had, and it definitely wasn't worth the price. The same item at lunch is $5.99. Not cool. (Insert musical interlude: salsa time! One older couple begins to dance.)
Baked pork chop with rice ($10.50) - Comes with soup. Russian borscht was decent. Pork chop had some crispy bits. This sounds very odd, but my piece of pork chop was both tender and chewy (tendon? ligaments? whatever they were, I didn't like them). The tomato sauce was not tomato-y enough. What I mean is that they put too much thickener (I'm guessing cornstarch and water). The rice base had a bit of egg in it. I'll give them that. There was also cheese on top. (Insert musical interlude: Rumba time! Singer's words, not mine. Older couple still dancing. Strobe lights still pulsing. My nerves are still twitching.)
Baked ox tongue with rice ($10.50) - Also comes with soup. Same tomato sauce as above. Also same rice and cheese. My piece of ox tongue was really thickly cut, and tasted and felt like chewy beef shank. It also had a funky aftertaste. When done properly, ox tongue is supposed to be like butter. This was definitely not butter. It also didn't taste like tongue. Not pleased. My dad's piece was also chewy. My mom said hers was tender. She got lucky, I guess. The cheese in this dish gives it an almost tomato cream sauce taste. Like when one mixes the tomato and cream sauces in a ying yang fried rice. Not unpleasant, but unexpected. (Musical note: We're into rock and roll now. Um...not with my food please)
Baked Portuguese rice with seafood ($10.25) - With soup too. This one was the cheapest thing we ordered. It was also the most decent tasting. The others I'd give a 2/5. This one was a 3/5. Solid. I would have preferred the sauce a tad stronger, once again, but this one didn't taste like thickener. This one also had a decent amount of seafood. The shrimp I had tasted pretty good.
Trying to get the waitress's attention the entire night was interesting, but not in a good way. Raising one's hand in the dark doesn't do much. Using one's voice doesn't work particularly well either. I was trained to use my indoor voice indoors. I walked over to the waitress to get our bill. Even next to her, she couldn't hear me above the music. I had to yell. Actually yell. Then while I yelled, she still didn't understand doggy bag, so I had to mime as well. Should anyone read this and still decide to come, remember: non-verbal cues are your best friend.
If you enjoy live music in various musical genres, a relatively spacious (empty) dance floor, and strobe lights with your Hong Kong style teahouse (not), then this is the restaurant for you! P.S. If you're into kareoke, the menu states that you are allowed to sing two songs on the kareoke machine while the live band is between sets. Have fun!
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