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| - I was hoping for more. I really was. I just got back - this is my fourth time there, always for breakfast/pastries, always willing to drop more money than usual. If you're not a fan of reading a story, let me just sum it up: go to Starbucks instead.
From a visual aesthetics perspective, it's not too shabby. The place has a little bit of curb appeal, an unusually large mixer that's clearly for display purposes, and a semi-minimalistic kitschy interior. Okay, this might not be bad...
But then you see the line. It's sort of a cluster of people standing around the front, with a theme that implies the line starts near the door, sort of. At 7:30AM, the crowd made me want to stand in line to get OUT of the place, not in.
Nonetheless, I made my way to order. I was glad to see some breakfast items that I could relate to, and ultimately decided on something I wouldn't make at home: quiche lorraine. I was promised it was "amazing". It wasn't. Now, take a 21 min intermission, because that's how long it took to get my food (yes, it took so long I started to pay attention to it).
First, let me just say that I know what a microwaved pastry tastes like. Been there, done that. This was more of the same. If something is warm on the edges, but cold in the middle, consider the microwave. F*ck, that was a waste of time and money. I would ask for them to heat it up, but alas, look at that damn line. My friend, who was having the french scrambled eggs, told me that it was nothing amazing. Pretty basic. So I had a bad experience and he had an "acceptable" experience. Score: 3/5
On another trip, I lucked out, because there wasn't a line. It's like the clouds parted and there was an open register. I walked up, ordered some huevos frenchos, and took my seat. Cue a 16 minute wait - hey, they're improving. This time around, my food was decent. I couldn't complain. Taking advantage of the lack of line, I went back up and asked if they had coffee. The kind gentleman gave me a cup, pointed to the coffee jug, and said "$2.26". Wow, at least in Starbucks they'll fill the cup up for me at that price.
That's the recurring theme here on the food. Moderately (not severely) expensive, with products that don't seem to match that expectation. Now, I must say, ALL the pastries that I have tried, especially the macaroons, are delicious. However, even the cost of a macaroon is more expensive here in Phoenix than the macaroons at Bouchon, a Thomas Fuckin' Keller creation. This places charges considerably more and isn't even on par. Yikes. Funny part is, that complaint about the macaroons is really about 65 cents. Oh well, I digress to digest. I'll save my parking rant, whatthehelldoyouhavetodrink? rant, and more for some other time.
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