| rev:text
| - I need to state, for the Yelp record, that I don't live at the Optima Camelview.
My review is bound to be colored by my experience...opinions differ...yada, yada, yada:) I think I'm good with the TOS, but if I'm not, I'm sure someone will let me know.
My buddy Mike Z was in town for a week or so...down from Seattle...it was great to see him!
We've been friends for 20 years, and you know what, I don't have that many friends of that duration!
We do have a good time and this week was no exception...one of the things Mikey came to town for, was to look at buying a condo or 5 (this seems to be a "buyers' market" for these things:)
So, I went with Mike on a couple of his forays into the wacky world of Phoenix/Scottsdale real estate, to help him try to buy a couple of bargains...heck, we were thinking we might even partner up on a few of these things:)
First stop...Optima Camelview.
In the immortal words of Bette Davis, "what a dump!":(
We parked underground and met the realtor (another Yelp one star, in her own right, but that's another story:( and started to go through these places...the first words (and really, for me they continue to be the most apt words about Scottsdale's own OC) that came to mind were:
* Hive
* Warren
* Catacomb
* Mausoleum
I'm a reasonably bright guy and I have a good imagination, so I can see what they were going for, but the OC just doesn't rise to the level of "new age hanging gardens of Babylon".
The place feels lifeless and sad...possibly an interesting concept that was poorly planned, poorly executed and now threatens to collapse under its own depressing weight (and maybe all of the dead plants that the residents apparently can't afford to take care of:(
The fit and finish of the entire place is just "off"...doors that didn't fit/wouldn't close or open...handles and moldings broken off of walls in the hallways...lights that didn't...not what the people that bought into the OC at the "high" expected, I'm pretty certain...
We went through 5 units at the OC...all of them supposedly "owner occupied"...maybe they were...that just makes this so very much sadder:(
The units we saw were, at best, disappointing and depressing...and at worst...squalid:(
* 2 of the 5 units had the power turned off, but people were living in these units (candles everywhere, wet towels from the morning shower)...I don't know how you can watch the 48" plasma HDTV without power, but these units both had all the toys and Pottery Barn furniture...just no juice:(...BTW, you don't want to open the refrigerator in one of these units...I thought we had stumbled on a body or two in the dark:(
* 2 of the 5 were furnished in a style I like to call "early futon and card table"...we were told that these people had paid more than $450,000 for these units...and they only had a futon and a card table...oh and the 48" plasma HDTV...you can't live without that:)
* The 5th unit was just destroyed...very serious rage going on here...every knob and pull was broken off every cabinet...at least those with the doors still attached...the handle for the patio door had been broken off...2 holes punched in the drywall (which, for some reason was untextured in this unit...strange...:(...asking price for this unit was exactly what they had paid for it...extremely optimistic in my view:)...the realtor said the same thing she said in each unit she showed us..."you could offer less!"...Really, bright eyes?...Well, I see now that real estate is just way too complex for me..."we could offer less"...who'd a thunk it?
* All of the units we saw (and most of the units we could see from the units we looked at...which was essentially all of them...there is no such thing as a private deck or living room in this place) had dead and dying plants...while the idea of having each deck share a little "garden" with their neighbor might be nice, the reality is that the mulch spills onto the deck, the plants don't get sun or water and they are dead brown reminders of the dead, brown life too many of the inhabitants of this labyrinth are likely leading:(
Maybe this place will come back to life...they (they being people who are much smarter than I am about real estate) say real estate always does... but it's going to take a few years...or something...
For now...one sad and desperate star:(
We passed on this OC:(
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