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| - I'll be honest, I completely forgot Yelp existed. Lots of my friends are Elite Yelpers, and since there haven't been many events over the past few months, their conversation topics have switched from "Oh my god the next OYE sounds fuckin awesome!" to "I haven't gotten any free food/drinks and Yelp branded schwag in forever waaahhhhhh!!!!" So when I went to the UYE at The Vig Uptown last night with Georgie S, stuffed my face with cheap grub and Bud Lights, stuffed my pockets with lets just call it "a couple" Yelp coozies and packs of Orange-heads, I remembered this little website and figured I'd fill you in on what I've been eating since the last OYE. God damn that was a long sentence.
KFC Double Down muthafuckas!!!!!!!
Yes, that's right, I've literally eaten KFC Double Downs for every meal for..... when did they come out?...... I don't know whenever they came out. If you don't know what a Double Down is, then you obviously don't watch enough ESPN and other channels that target fat lazy dudes. The KFC Double Down is the brainchild of what must be the fattest genius on Earth, designed specifically to trigger the glutton-reflex in the human brain.
Picture this:
Take a delicious chicken sandwich from your favorite joint.
Put bacon and a sweet tangy sauce on it. Hungry aren't ya?
But something is missing right?
NOW TAKE THOSE TWO PANSY ASS PIECES OF BREAD, THROW THAT SHIT BACK INTO THE DRIVE THRU WINDOW, AND SAY "GIMME ANOTHER PIECE OF CHICKEN BITCH!
You don't need bread! Just put the freakin bacon and sauce IN BETWEEN the chicken filets! You like grilled chicken? Get grilled chicken. You like fried chicken? Get fried chicken.
Or you can follow in my Chicken Jesus-like footsteps and get one of each. QUADRUPLE DOWN!!!
Seriously, I know most of you are all "GROSS!!" and thinking that I must be a raging alcoholic or constantly high to like this thing, but trust me, IT. IS. INCREDIBLE. Eat a bunch of salads all week and tell yourself that you're healthy, go get a KFCDD, a 40 of OE, and sit on your ASS and enjoy the wonders of a true poultry masterpiece.
Plus you need protein homie, you're lookin a little flaco. Yeah, you. If you need me, I'll be in the drive thru.
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