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| - I'm really dabbling between one and two stars on this one. Of course my boyfriend and I were drawn in because of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. Unfortunately, we didn't experience any screaming battles, employee walk outs, or any of Amy's or Sami's crazy fits. However, the food was terrible and the service was more than awkward.
We walked in, and the place is actually decorated pretty well. But the decor is overshadowed by loud music playing. The music is the awkwardly exotic-sounding music you hear at cheap massage places or at an Asian nail parlor. Also, when we walked in there were like three girl servers just standing at the door that were staring at us through the glass doors before we went in. Terrible atmosphere, super awkward.
We initially went in to have dessert, but were intrigued to see if the food really was as bad as it was on the show, so we sat and had dinner. Our waitress sat us down and was very hover-y. She gave us about 1 minute to look over the menu before asking us what we wanted. We had to tell her twice that we were still looking. Feeling rushed, we ordered the three meatball appetizer, I got the pesto potato gnocchi, and my boyfriend got the Greek salad with chicken. She took our order and came back shortly with our two Diet Cokes, and shortly after, the meatballs.
The meatballs came out and they LITERALLY smelled like dog food. The kind of dog food that is a gelatinous mess of emulsified unmentionables that keeps its shape when it comes out of the can. Not to mention they were about the diameter of a quarter. Three quarter-sized meatballs for five dollars. Absolutely ridiculous. Upon taking a bit, they were absolutely charred and overcooked to the point that there was a black crust on the outside of them. They tasted pretty much like unseasoned, overcooked ground beef. Not too appetizing. The whole time we were eating the nasty meatballs, Amy came out of the kitchen and was seriously staring at us from behind the counter the whole time.
Not much later, our entrees came out. They brought my boyfriends salad, which didn't have the chicken on it. Excited to get a moment to complain, he called the waitress over, but she had a bowl of greasy chicken nibletts in it and she pretty much just placed in on our table. I though it was weird that the "freshly grilled" chicken came out in a separate bowl smothered in grease as if it were pan fried or sauteed.... The Greek salad literally tasted like a mix of play-doh and chemicals. The lettuce was crisp and fresh, but the olives were really disgusting, and were what gave the salad the play-doh taste. The salad dressing made it taste like turpentine.
My food was definitely much more awkward. My "pesto" potato gnocchi came out as the tomato basil gnocchi, but I'm not the type, even at a good restaurant, to send things back. Anyhow I ate it, and upon chewing the gnocchi, it stuck to the inside of my mouth like a dog with peanut butter. They were slimy and pretty large, so it literally felt like there were rubber balls in my mouth. The sauce was as bland as could be, and didn't even taste like tomato and basil. Whatever.
When the waitress came back a million times to ask how it was, of course we said "great" to avoid and flare ups. We said the same thing when Sami, the owner, came by as well. We decided to try dessert, as it was the only thing Chef Ramsay said was even edible. We got a super tiny flourless chocolate cake. It was good but it was definitely not worth $8.
The bill came to $50 dollars. Absolutely not worth it. When we got the bill, Sami stared at us until we signed the check and added a tip. I was REALLY inclined to not add a tip, however, with him awkwardly staring it got the job done. The meal was terrible and the service was awkward and subpar. It was an interesting expereince, but no, we probably wont ever be back.
Pictures of our food are available!
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