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  • Hmmmm....I never really know what to say about Giant Eagle. I always come up with good, yelp-worthy phrases while I'm inside, but then I can't remember them or say to myself, "Do you really need to review Giant Eagle? REALLY?" But ok, here goes. (As you can probably tell, I am trying to get to 200 reviews here.) I ALWAYS dread going here. But once I get there, it's not that bad. In fact, on one particular occasion (a dead Monday afternoon), it was actually pleasant. It all depends on who's at the checkout lines. Not the customers, but the employees. Sometimes, the lines go by really fast, and the cashier knows how to fill the bags just right, and they're quickly put in my cart (which she swiftly dragged by her side to help out with this process), and she doesn't ask for my Giant Eagle card twice as if she forgot who I am already. But sometimes....ooh, it's just horrible. And there are so many self-checkout aisles now, and nobody knows quite how to DIY efficiently (myself included). And I have to grab an US Weekly just to keep from screaming, "FUUUUUCK!" I also don't really appreciate (but, sadly, completely understand) how some aisles are "trap" aisles--they are twice the length as the others, with no break in the middle like the rest. You are forced to walk the entire length of these aisles, inevitably looking at/picking up crap you really don't need. And wasting your time. Deli counter IS in fact hell. The last two times I went there, though, I saw the madness, did my other shopping, and then came back before checking out to a quieter, quicker meat-grab. But I hate backtracking in supermarkets. It makes me feel like I have made an improper decision in the way I decided to navigate the supermarket. Plus, now I want Mike's Hard Lemonade like nobody's business. They have an entire ISLAND devoted to different varieties of this shit. Who needs that much hard lemonade? (Me. I do.)
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