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| - Last night, 2 of my chums and I decided to stop in at ol' Earles. There was no way of knowing the adventures that awaited us on this fateful evening. Let us begin......
5:30
We arrive at Earle's and quickly make our way to our seats. Could we have had a more ideal location for our dining experience? Probably. I mean there were like 5 people in the whole entire restaurant. But Sunday Funday had taken its toll, and this guy was too tired to complain about it. I swallowed my displeasure and made my way to the booth.
5:36
Our waitress FINALLY arrives and asks us if we would like something to drink. Uh YEAH I want something to drink. Can you not tell that my throat is more parched than Queen Elizabeth's vagina? I'll give this waitress a pass as she really was a sweetheart and had a NICE rack. More to come on that.
5:45
The menu was pretty solid and I ended up ordering the Club sandwich sans bacon and mayonaise. One of my amigo's orders soup which leads to a small convo about whether soup actually constitutes a true meal. Personally, I think for men it does not. Women are smaller than men and, thus, could qualify soup as a meal. But I digress.....
5:55
Our appetizer of soup has arrived. Except before I have a chance to dig in, my partner in crime (we'll call her Wac) completely DOMINATES the bowl. I look over and there is soup practically spraying out of her nose. She might as well have picked up the damn boul and drank out of it like you would a bowl of cereal. I was in utter shock and disbelief! As if that weren't enough, she actually growled when I attempted to grab a piece of bread. Yowza!
6:10
My blood-sugar level is at a dangerously low level and I feel I might perish from starvation. In an act of divine providence, our big-tittied waitress finally arrives with our food. You might remember me mentioning the fine rack on this broad. However, the brain in her head definitely didn't match size of her boobs, as she made a MAJOR gaffe prior to the arrival of our food. She gave us some convuluted excuse as to why I was being served with my food 15 minutes before Wac was getting her burger. (On a side note: Have you ever had to wait for the other person at your table to get their meal while your meal is sitting right in front of you saying 'eat me pleeeeeeease!!' I'd rather take a bath with my toaster than go through THAT hell again.)
6:20
Finally Wac's food arrives and we chow down. The food was practically perfect in every way. True to form, I inhaled my sandwich while only occasionally remembering to chew. I'm a little embarrased to report I got a salad instead of fries (i know - gay) but I needed the roughage! I don't know what to tell you.
6:30
Big tittie'd waitress starts jumping up and down because she got a sweet tip from some degenerate whose been eye-fucking her all night. Classy.
6:35
We consumate our dining experience at Earle's.
All in all, it was a very positive experience. While our voluptious waitress still has a lot to learn, she was a real peach. She must have had a one-night stand within the last week because she had a surreal twinkle in her eye. I'm giving my review 5 stars because I got some good laughs and their bathroom was clean. What can I say, I'm easily impressed!
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