| rev:text
| - Don't waste your time.
I bought a FabFind coupon for Martinis & Manicures. Six friends and I arranged a "girls' night out", with the expectation of professional manicures, martinis and girl talk. Yeah, that's not what we got.
Martinis & Manicures is held on the second floor of Fuzion restaurant. We waited for at least 30 minutes (our appointment was for 7 p.m.) before we were ushered upstairs. While we sat there, we ordered the free martinis we got with the FabFind deal. We had to something to bide our time.
When we got upstairs, we were ushered into a corner of a large lounge. There was only ONE manicurist, so we had to take turns. I was first. I asked her if she could trim my nails to match the one that was chipped. She told me she was only doing "express" manicures, and did not have all her tools, so she could only file them. There was no table - she had her tools on a towel on her lap.
We sat on ottoman-type chairs and had to lean forward in an awkward position for 20 minutes. While she had approximately 30 bottles of nail polish to choose from, most of them looked the same. The manicures looked okay in the dim lighting of the lounge, but we later realized that they didn't look professionally done - which makes sense as this was far from professional. One of my friends was so disappointed with her nails she promptly removed the polish when she got home.
There was a TV on the wall playing "Sex and the City" episodes. But the staff couldn't be bothered to remember to play them; half the time, the screen was stuck on the main menu of the DVD, where we had to listen to the same bits of dialogue ad nauseum. (Were they not savvy enough to press the "Play All Episodes" button?)
Off the lounge was a small table-and-chair seating area where another event was going on - a speed-dating event. Seriously. During their break, it became quite noisy in there. We could hear a lot - from the bell going off telling the speed-daters to move to the next table, to snippets of cringe-inducing speed-dating dialogue.
I think it would be easier to review the experience by responding to claims made on the FabFind deal:
"Forget anything you've tried before: we promise this is the best relaxation therapy you'll ever experience." Uh, no. My back was sore after having to sit on a backless cube chair for 20 minutes. Lounge chairs are good for temporary sitting, not for doing nails. And trying to keep your hands completely still in the air while the polish is painted on is a pain.
"So sit back, relax, and just try not to confuse your lacquer with your liquor." Or try not to confuse the women getting their nails done with the ones that were there for the speed-dating event.
"Martinis & Manicures is offering you and your friends the chance to hang out in their stylish, SoHo New York loft environment in the heart of downtown Toronto." Dark wood, a plasma TV and lounge chairs do not a SoHo New York loft environment make. I felt like I was in a lounge. Which I was. No confusion there.
"Highly skilled estheticians will provide you with anything from an express manicure to a deep relaxation hand treatment." Read my above review about their "highly skilled esthetician". As for deep relaxation hand treatment? I just wanted to get the manicure done, because my six other friends were waiting for theirs. I thought we'd be there all night.
"Either way, your hands will be put into such a state of bliss that you'll barely be able to feel the glass they're holding onto (though that could have something to do with the ice in the glass)...After all, you were given two hands for a reason. One to hold the martini while the other one gets manicured. " I finished my martini while waiting for 30+ minutes in the downstairs bar. Besides, if I did have a martini in my hand during the manicure, there was no place to rest the glass SINCE WE WEREN'T SITTING AT A TABLE.
I paid $24 for a $50 service. For $35, I can get a manicure AND a pedicure while sitting on a comfortable, vibrating chair. For $50, you'd expect them to up the game.
Basically, Martinis & Manicures is just a way for Fuzion to make some money from their lounge during non-peak hours (manicures are offered Wednesday to Friday, 3 to 8pm, and Saturday to Sunday: 12 to 8 pm). If you really really want a martini and manicure experience, you'd be better off holding it in someone's home and hiring a professional esthetician that does house calls. Or get your nails done at a professional salon and go to a bar afterwards.
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